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This guy I have a crush on...

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Cert, Feb 12, 2018.

  1. Cert

    Regular Member

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    Hi,
    I'm struggling with something. There's this guy at my school who I have a manic, life-altering crush on. I'm trying to figure out if he's gay. I probably wouldn't act on it even if I was almost sure that he was, considering that it would be too embarrassing if he wasn't and that I don't have the greatest self-image, but just out of curiosity I'm trying to figure it out. Do you guys have any tips for this? He tends to be friendly with girls more than with boys, he's a bit flamboyant at times, and he keeps himself more clean-shaven than the average guy. I sensed a bit of sexual tension a while back between him and a friend of his. Shout out to particularly teenage gay guys out there, can you identify what criteria go into your "gaydar?"
    Sincerely,
    Cert
     
    #1 Cert, Feb 12, 2018
    Last edited: Feb 12, 2018
  2. Glitters

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    The problem with gaydars is that it they based off of stereotyping homosexuality, and there is also a psychological phenomenon called confirmation bias, "the tendency to interpret new evidence as confirmation of one's existing beliefs or theories".

    The only way you're going to know his sexuality, 100%, is if he tells you. I suggest becoming his friend, first and foremost. See where the friendship takes you. If it's meant to happen, it will happen :slight_smile:
     
  3. Jackie Ray

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    I'll give you one piece of advice, if he looks at you for like 5 seconds and is smiling or looks pleased, he may be gay. Undressing somebody with your eyes is really gay, I do it my friends when Im up for a roll in the hay. Other gay guys do it to me, but nothing is fool proof . I would never use looks or mannerisms as a guide, most straight boys act gayer that us sissy-boi's anymore.

    Honestly if he is "eye-fucking" you'll know it. Are there any queer boys at your school that are out? Try it with them rather than risking an unknown.
     
    #3 Jackie Ray, Feb 13, 2018
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2018
  4. Cert

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    Thanks. When I said gaydar, I was just talking about how to tell, not based on stereotypes.
     
  5. cWILD14

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    There is no foolproof way to tell other than the person saying something. It's awkward but you could ask if that's something you want to do? I mean the idea of friendship is good but I know how hard it is to be friends with someone you are crushing on really hard.