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Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Martin, Mar 17, 2013.

  1. Martin

    Board Member Admin Team Full Member

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    Wassupski peeps,

    Upon receiving feedback from various members regarding the 'Coming Out Later in Life' forum, one of the things pointed out to us was that the wording of the forum implied that there was a limited scope of discussion for members to address in there. In response to this, the staff would like to introduce you to the LGBT Later in Life forum!

    As you'll see, the 'coming out' forum is now attached as a sub-forum, and we would appreciate it if y'all could continue maintaining the categories we have in place by continuing to post threads in there if they are related to coming out.

    This forum is now appearing as a main forum on the forum homepage, and you can use it for any aspect of being LGBT+ and whatever scope of support or discussion topic that ties in to that.

    A special thanks to biAnnika for the feedback that led to the staff considering this proposal, and a thank you to our members who have responded so well to the introduction of the 'later in life' forums. Your contributions to the section and the kindness you've all shown to reach out to the other members who need support hasn't gone unnoticed, and y'all are really contributing to the fantabulousness of EC. :slight_smile:

    Enjoy the section!

    Martin.

    PS. Tweaks may be made as we continue settling this section into the site, so if you do have any feedback or suggestions then we would love to hear it. :slight_smile:
     
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  2. greatwhale

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    The fantabuousness of EC is in large part your willingness to listen to your membership, well done!

    As a member of a certain age, I truly appreciate having my own "pad", as it were, here at EC.

    Thanks!
     
  3. AKTodd

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    Hey neat idea:slight_smile:

    However in attempting to access the new section, some of the links seem to be going to the wrong place. When I try to access the - Coming out later in life - section it keeps kicking back to the main EC forum. Just a glitch I'm sure.

    Thanks!

    Todd
     
  4. Martin

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    Hey,

    We're trying to resolve this as we speak. I'm not sure what has caused it, but hopefully twill be dealt with asap. :slight_smile:

    Martin.
     
  5. Martin

    Board Member Admin Team Full Member

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    Looks like it's working again. :slight_smile:
     
  6. Chip

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    For now, the forum (coming out later in life) itself is under "LGBT later in life." There should be a link from the "coming out" section, but there's a technical issue in making the link work so for the moment, there isn't one :slight_smile:
     
  7. Italy or Bust

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    I was having a hard time finding it, so I'm glad toward it didn't go away. I've become quite dependant on the forum to keep my sanity!
     
  8. RainbowMan

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    Thanks for all that you do, and these later in life forums are a godsend to us older folk! (even though I barely qualify :grin:)
     
  9. Martin

    Board Member Admin Team Full Member

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    Update: We've merged the Coming Out Later in Life forum into this forum. We appreciate the activity that both forums were receiving, but staff agreed that the section wasn't really overly active to the extent that it needed a sub-forum within it and was instead just adding an extra hurdle for you all to jump over in order to keep up to date with the entire section. Hopefully having all the topics in one place will help you all keep on top of thread topics in here more easily. :slight_smile:

    Martin.
     
  10. Italy or Bust

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    I'm glad, as it seemed the coming out late forum readership and advice seemed to drop off the face of the earth.
     
  11. Tightrope

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    I find it fascinating in and of itself that there is such a divergence in opinions at to what constitutes "older." But I look at it with humor. Still, I am glad this portion of the forum exists. Some people's experiences and stories really make sense here, and I tend to scan this section frequently for threads and viewpoints.
     
  12. DesertTortoise

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    I was a pretty queer kid, and well on the path to carrying that into adulthood. There were things things that happened to me when I was 12 or 13, and have only recently, day by day, come to see their significance. I have lived in a prison of my own making for six decades. Or was it that kid? While I went on about a life that wasn't mine. But he didn't go away. And he didn't die. He tried so hard to get my attention... the self that had gone on without him. In recent years, he was merciless. He would kidnap my voice--shout curses at me, in my own voice! "You fucking asshole! You pile of shit!"
    Every morning I'd wake like that, my gut tied in knots. If only I'd listened to what he went on to say... after the words... in the silence. "... that depression, the anxiety--you don't need to drink for that? Remember me," he wanted me to hear "... remember that queer little kid who got beat up coming home from school? You thought playing football, learning to be 'manly' had got you a new life. No, no... embrace your queer little kid... embrace the queer that you are. That you've always been."
    ... and I did. I have never felt such peace. I haven't cursed myself since I came out--not once. My heart is swelling with love... hmm, not just my heart :slight_smile:
    Thank you for this web site. I'm 72. Let me tell you, it's never too late.
     
    #12 DesertTortoise, Aug 6, 2013
    Last edited: Aug 6, 2013
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  13. DesertTortoise

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    Thank you for upgrading my status... I thought I had to wait till I posted 50 messages to request membership.

    Not so much what I've learned, but how this site has enlarged my heart to embrace so many, with such different stories.
     
  14. SplitMyWishbone

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    Aging, Early SF Community and now Retirement years

    I came out (to myself & friends) in the deep South while I was a police officer. I knew how they felt about 'queers' because every time they arrested one or found a 'gay' magazine, boy did the jokes fly around. well, I got out and away to San Francisco before they found out I was queer; that was 1981; GRID...HIV...AIDS...my community and friends were being wiped out by the disease that now at my age has left a generation of older men without lots of caregivers and 'comrades' in what we would create as we did with ACT UP (when we needed to shout for meds) or actions in the street for equality as we are seeing now...but we have nobody standing or shouting out for us to aid us (or me) in being surrounded by lgbtqta (whatever one is) retirement center. No, I'm living in federal public housing, alone, without a caregiver or friends and in HERE IT COMES... the damn gay hating state of Kansas and only one hour away from those queer hate monger Fred Phelps/Westboro Baptist Church. It is as if I'm back in the closet all over again. there certainly doesn't appear to be any other out person(s) in the 5 story building. I see that SF is now dealing with this crisis also by renovating place(s) to begin such an endeavor. I hope it succeeds ... it would help me; I surely would move back and live in the place but I doubt I could afford it any longer being on Social Security disability. Thanks for hanging in with this long rant, folks.
     
  15. greatwhale

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    Welcome to EC SplitMyWishbone!

    It is always wonderful when a "veteran" can join us and tell us what it was like 30 years ago and how things have changed. The young ones especially need to understand just how far we've come.

    Too bad you're stuck living where you are, on the other hand you can spend some time with us "here" (wherever here is) and share with us the issues that surround getting on "later in life" and being gay.
     
  16. SplitMyWishbone

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    I've been watching Queer As Folk Again and I'm on Season 4 the last episode. It is the Liberty Ride in 2004 to Toronto. During this episode, Ben Bruckner and Michael Novotny are married in Toronto. They just keep looking forward to the day when it will be recognized in the US--scan forward almost 10 years and we have the President of the US saying we should have the same right to marry and so states stop forcing DOMA and do a 180. Permit me to bore you with these stats and then tell me if we are making theirs and our dream come true?

    Fifteen states - CA, CT, DE, HI, IA, ME, MD, MA, MN, NH, NJ, NY, RI, VT, and WA - plus Washington, D.C. have the freedom to marry for same-sex couples. A marriage bill is also poised for victory in IL. Five states offer broad protections short of marriage. CO, IL and NJ allow civil union, while OR and NV offer broad domestic partnership. WI has more limited domestic partnership. With these advances, a record number of Americans live in states that recognize relationships between same-sex couples: Over 35% of the U.S. population lives in a state that either has the freedom to marry or honors out-of-state marriages of same-sex couples.
    Over 41% of the U.S. population lives in a state with either marriage or a broad legal status such as civil union or domestic partnership. Over 43% of the U.S. population lives in a state that provides some form of protections for gay couples.
    It doesn't just happen, guys and gals. as the movie says, If you build it, they will come .... action is the key.
     
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  17. Wildside

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    I really appreciate this forum. when I saw the name of it, I thought it might be somewhere that I would belong. I have posted a thread and responded to other threads, and have received so much help and consolation. thanks for creating this forum. I was really depressed and anxious when I first joined EC, but now it is slowly lifting.
     
  18. quebec

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    Wow....everytime I turn around I get hit with something here on EC. Reading through this thread I saw so much of myself that it really was a little scary....DesertTortoise...for a while there I thought we were twins, in the end there were differences...anyway, today's "discoveries" kind of lifted me up, even though they certainly aren't all happy-ending fairy tails. Hang in there people, there is so much good in you that it will out!
     
  19. zuice

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    Have you read Peter Heller's "The Whale Warriors"? It is a great book about saving the whales in their oceans of Eden.
     
  20. Fishtail

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    This 'later in life' confuses me abit.
    Is it okay for anybody over 18 to post in this forum section?
    And even if you came out (to yourself and to somebody) before turning 20 year?
     
    #20 Fishtail, Feb 1, 2019
    Last edited: Feb 1, 2019