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Thirteen, Maybe Lesbian, Looking for Help

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by L Keywright, Mar 26, 2017.

  1. L Keywright

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    Hello, I posted maybe a few weeks ago expressing that I believed I was bi, but did not know how to tell what attraction was. Today, I post again with a different hypothesis and a ton of questions. I believe I am lesbian. When I think of having a relationship, I can really only picture one with another girl. I still have the same issues from my last post, but I have started to sort it out. My questions are: How did you really know what your sexuality was? I should not be basing anything off the "cute boys" from when I was five, right? I am probably not misreading the fact that I have interest in being involved with other females, but not males, right? I can find a person to be adorable without being attracted to them, right? Like finding a person's personality or even looks to be cute, but without an interest in romantic or sexual involvement. Please tell me I am not the first to experience this. (I assume not.)
    Literally anything you could possibly say, whether it explicitly answers one of my questions or not, is helpful. Thanks!
     
  2. LoyalGryffindor

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    I should not be basing anything off the "cute boys" from when I was five, right?
    I don't know...sexuality is fluid so perhaps not.

    I can find a person to be adorable without being attracted to them, right?
    Absolutely!
     
  3. iliketolift1

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    I understand what you are feeling. I am not able to imagine in any way ever being with a guy. However when I was about 5 I did "like" one boy but it was more of a "I want to be your best friend" kind of thing. Looking back on it over the years I've had many crushes on girls which I had just brushed of as something everyone felt. I can't remember what finally made me realize that I was gay but I think it was a crush on a girl at school and it hit me like a ton of bricks!

    Just remember you don't need to label yourself if you don't want to but I get why they can be helpful. You are still young (I am too lol) so you have a lot of time to figure everything out. Don't worry about it too much it will all turn out ok in the end :slight_smile:.
     
  4. beenthrdonetht

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    Agreed. That is pretty slim evidence. Cute is cute, everyone responds to it.

    Correct, you are probably reading it right. You know how you feel. In fact, you're at just the right age to be asking and answering these questions.

    Yep again. You are not crazy, you understand it all pretty well. Some boys and girls may just always be adorable, but you wouldn't cuddle with them.

    With all the drama that some posts have, it is always nice to hear from someone who basically gets it, and could just use some understanding and validation. Here, have some more. :slight_smile: And you're in California. Breathe in the sane air.
     
    #4 beenthrdonetht, Mar 26, 2017
    Last edited: Mar 26, 2017
  5. HuskyLover

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    I've never really "known" I was gay. I know I preferred boys as a young kid but I never really gave it any thoughts. To me it was sort of a natural thing and nothing I questioned. Maybe you shouldn't explicitly look at what you felt when you were five, but give it some thoughts because it could be an indicator.

    Of course you can find someone good looking or that they have a wonderful personality without having to be attracted to them. If you were to ask your friends, I'm sure they wouldn't say they like your personality because they find you attractive. Otherwise we'd all basically be bi... (lol)

    Is it important for you to have a label for yourself? Don't misunderstand me, but some things just fall into place if you give them a bit more time. Just like whoever you like!

    Nothing weird about what you're asking or feeling though. When we are curious or want to know more of something we are unsure of, we ask for help! It's natural. And I hope this was to some help for you at least :slight_smile:
     
  6. Linkmaste

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    I can understand how important it is to label yourself but try your best to hold off. Labels tend to make you think only a select way and you're so unique and different one word can't describe all that you are!

    Being a Lesbian is fine, Being straight is fine, being bisexual is fine and anything else inbetween. Love is love and enjoy your childhood. I know that's hard to agree with-I was the same way as you when I was younger, but know that whatever you feel is natural and if your parents are open minded then I'm sure they will love you no matter what. :slight_smile:
     
  7. Creativemind

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    How did you really know what your sexuality was?
    When I realized that the only people I was attracted to were women. I was also actively repulsed by hetero sex- not every lesbian is, but it was an indicator.


    I should not be basing anything off the "cute boys" from when I was five, right?
    Right. That doesn't always mean anything. A lot of lesbians used to have "crushes" on boys. It's not even always because of fluid sexuality. It could be that they never liked boys at all, but were brainwashed by heteronormativity.

    I am probably not misreading the fact that I have interest in being involved with other females, but not males, right?
    That sounds lesbian to me.

    I can find a person to be adorable without being attracted to them, right?
    Sure. A lot of straight women can admire other women, so why can't lesbians admire men in a non sexual way?