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thinking im genderfluid but very confused

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Airisofparis, Nov 2, 2016.

  1. Airisofparis

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    The moon. It's cheesy up here
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    OK so ive been thinking about my gender since june. im afab and i realised that i might not be a girl because i was thinking that if i was born male and was exactly the way i am today i would be a boy. ive always thought that way, and ive also always been a proud girl but being a boy was also appealing. recently ive been keeping note of the gender since and ive been all over the place. at first thinking i was genderflux then agender then nonbinary and so on. im currently thinking im genderfluid cause my gender seems to change. like i want to have her/she pronouns one day then he/his the next. im not sure if this is a phase but im pretty sure im genderfluid. when growing up i also remember days where i was very comfortable with my body and others not so much.

    but if i am genderfluid im scared to come out. i am going to wait until next year to come out but when i do what do i say? im nervous about pronouns and them changing daily. and coming out in school so people use my pronouns but its going to be hard to explain. and name changing. i have no idea how i should go about it or if i should even do it. i sort of feel like im rushing in to things and thats why im giving it time but im still nervous.


    sorry this is a bit of a rant but i need advice:help:
     
  2. Irisviel

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    Nothing you say sounds non cis to me. I mean, if I was cis I could live as a man for all my life without changing anything about how I want to be most of the time, perhaps being considered gay but a guy nonetheless, and yet I'm transitioning to female. It's about your inner sense of self that's hard to explain, not pronouns or gender expression. It seems you're just a tomboy. I mean maybe there's more to it, but as for what you wrote, you might be simply conflating gender identity with expression.
     
    #2 Irisviel, Nov 2, 2016
    Last edited: Nov 2, 2016
  3. Delta

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    Eh, I wouldn't listen to her.^ Fluidity may be an important part of your identity, like it was for me. Or, you could end up being something different, and that's also okay.

    I was alright with being a girl for most of my life. I knew women were awesome and that I liked them, so I wasn't eager to distance myself from them. Except all the work I was doing at not having internalized misogyny was just deeply internalizing my transphobia. If women were so great, why was I so unhappy being one. I blamed misogyny for a while before realizing the discomfort was still there even when things were respectful and right. In enough time, I came to a realization. Women are great, and I will still support and defend women forever, but I am just not really one of them.

    I have feminine days once in a while, and I let them come and go like any other day. I still have some dysphoria on those days, interestingly, even being AFAB.

    One of the things I did when I was wondering if I was really genderfluid or... Something else, I used a spreadsheet to track how I felt about my gender every day. There were no predictable patterns, it was all over the place all the time, so I was, if nothing else, assured that fluidity was the most defining characteristic of my gender. You might try that for your own gender. It could help you take stock of long term feelings vs. passing fancies. :slight_smile: