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Thinking about my ex

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Hemospectrum, Oct 7, 2017.

  1. Hemospectrum

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    I had a mutual breakup with my ex 7 months ago and I haven't thought about them for a while. However, as I see them more constantly, I start thinking about them more often. I've had a big crush on someone for the time we weren't together but now that it's fading away I think about my ex more often. We still have a decent relationship. It's obvious that they still like me; their friends refer me to them still and give me signs that they still like me. My ex also gave me an expensive gift and one of our mutual friends also brought up the fact that he feels very strongly to me. The thing is, I'm starting to partially long to be with them? I'm confused of this situation though, as I've wanted to be in a relationship (though not over obsessively wanted) for a while. I've only started to start thinking of them today and never thought much of it until today. What exactly should I do?
     
  2. Hemospectrum

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    I meant to say she, haha! Oops
     
  3. Vass

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    Why did you break up? Who initiated the break up? Not a good sign that you haven't thought about him much until now. Could it be that your feeling lonely and miss the familiar and comfortable feeling of being with him?
    Just make sure your really into him and he is your number 1 priority before going back there, you don't want to break his heart.
     
  4. Vass

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    Sorry her!
     
  5. Hemospectrum

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    We broke up because it was awkward because we were "both not ready for a relationship yet". However, we have both matured. That's what I was worried about; I don't want to get together with her only to hurt her in the end because I was just lonely. Is there anyway to know if my thoughts are just because I'm lonely or because I actually miss her?
     
  6. Maya100

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    I've had this feeling too, I broke up with my ex because I deserved more than what she was giving me and I felt for a while good about that decision, I moved on and everything was good and then out of the blue I started thinking about her and missing her. I think when you miss someone you tend to see the relationship with rose tinted glasses and you almost can see no wrong in that person. I know your case is very different as it was down to not being ready for a relationship, but be careful of falling into the trap of 'it wasn't that bad' etc. On the other hand, if you think you've both matured and could give it a go, you could talk about it, talk about what went wrong and how you could fix it for the long run.
    I guess the only way to know if you're missing them because you're lonely is to think of what you've been doing in your life, like have you been going out with friends, having fun in general. If not, it could be loneliness. Also as mentioned before it could be that it's familiar and comfortable and that's why you could be thinking/missing her. The best thing to do is not to act on impulse, really have a think about what you want, and what you'd want if the relationship were to rekindle, maybe write some lists of the problems and the possible ways of getting round them, what would need to change for you two to get back together. I found when I did that I didn't actually want to get back with me ex, I just missed being around someone who knew me very well because it was reassuring and comfortable.