Things that made you realize you were lesbian or bi as a kid!

Age 7 - Looking back, I remember asking myself why I liked this girl in my class and my answer was "she smells nice" and I became a Christian just to see her at Church.

My best friends were mostly boys in primary school, although were all girls in high school.

Age 9 - I remember in primary school I wondered why we couldn't have two mum's instead of two kids when role playing ... but I never really liked role playing and I prefered being in charge when I had to.

Age 11 - I remember asking myself " do I still like this girl?" And I was like "no idea, haven't seen her in a while." (I was in a different set to everyone from primary at high schoo

Age 12 - instead of Jacob or Edward I liked Alice (twilight, sorry).

Age 13 - I liked Amandla Stenburg and couldn't understand why people were against a black Rue as if she were not black then it wouldn't have been her (also, age 20- she was in everything, everything - I and my friend had a hard time deciding if we prefered her or the guy).

Age 13 - I became obsessed with finding this girl I saw on tv and wanted to be her friend do much (age 17 - I met her through chance at a youth group age 20 - can I marry her?)

Age 14 - I liked a man for the first time and was highly embarrassed and denied it (he was 18 and my 3rd cousin)

Age 15 - I got asked if I liked "train tracks" and I said "no" since Im not really interested in train mechanics and when they said "so that means you're not lesbian" I was just thinking "well I like women but I prefer 'gay' not 'lesbian'"

Age 15 - Walking home from town I made up an imaginary boyfriend, had him for a year before moving onto another imaginary boyfriend

Age 16 - we were doing homosexuality in rs for gcse and I was scared to talk a lot (even though I talked a lot in other topics) incase I got asked or went off on one

Age 16 - had an imaginary girlfriend suspiciously same name and looks as a teacher who I liked as a teacher but not sure why she was the name and image as I am sure I didnt like her "that" way. Had her for a year.


Age 17 - thought I was agender (but I lied to myself so much I believed it) and assumed that ID for a year. Funny since I experienced stress (dysphoria) from IDing as agender whereas when I ignored it in real life (I wasn't out to anyone) I was fine. (I was thinking of writing this out but not sure)

Age 17 - I said I liked women only but men as romantic friends ... but i was still denying I liked men (see age 14)
.

Age 17, later - I took a test and it said I liked men too which I kind of already knew but I was like " okay".

Age 18 - I had a conversation with mum about the guy I liked at 14 and turns out everyone knew I liked him ....

Age 19 - Um .... Yeah, I was pretty much set. Told my mum in passing then later again because she forgets. Dad would not know even if I told it to his face he is oblivious to stuff, annoying.

Age 20 - well here I am just less than a month gone 20. Love RK so amazing woman but she won't believe me how beautiful she is. A guy I met on a gap yr may ask me out when I go back there again. I'm not sure If I like him so will flirt until he asks or think he's not interested and if he asks he pays (if I ask I pay and for a guy I'm not sure I like ... )

However most of this was in retrospect or passing thoughts .

 

In elementary school:

• I was worried because I wasn’t having crushes on boys so I pretended to have a crush on a boy and lied about it to people. I thought that I wasn’t attracted to guys because I wasn’t trying hard enough.
• I wanted to eventually have this guy be my boyfriend so I could get to know his older sister better since she was so kind and pretty.
• I was never excited about the idea of having a relationship with a boy (other than being friends) unless it somehow involved a girl. Or if it only involved a girl. Just having a girl involved in some way made me excited.
• A really cute girl asked me to sit with her at lunch and the whole way to the cafeteria I was extremely nervous. I had the typical blushing, butterflies in my stomach, and sweaty palms. I was very awkward during lunch and, much to my disappointment, that resulted in it not working out.
• This was in middle school (eighth grade) and I already knew I was a lesbian, but I wanted to mention it anyway. So there was this girl in one of my classes and I had a crush on her. I watched whenever she left class and figured out when she usually got up to leave so that I could casually walk out of the classroom in time to hold the door for her.

 

I knew I was Bi when I was in Middle/High School I had crushes on both boys and girls

 

DUDE, lol (just an expression, I know you're a woman). I did this, too. And then did it again in high school, because I think my sister asked me to pick out a guy in the yearbook that I liked. Stuff like this, and some of my other "signs," are part of the reason why I used to think everyone in my family already knew I was a lesbian (like, why would my sister want me to pick out a guy in the yearbook?). My siblings may think it, but my parents don't.

-As a kid, I thought all these different actresses were cute and would talk about them a lot, would watch TV shows just because of them, etc. I would also balance it out by pointing out cute or popular male actors and singers and putting their pictures on the wall in my bedroom (like my sisters did), and I did think most of them were cute...but I knew it wasn't the same.

-I also used to develop crushes on my female friends, and one of them I talked about incessantly and I was 5 years old. I was obsessed with that friend. So, there was her when I was 5 until maybe 4th grade. And then there was another friend in 6th and 7th grade. And then another in 8th-10th grade. And then another in 11th grade and part of 12th grade. And then I made a friend who liked me back, and that was my first girlfriend (12th grade). I was really possessive with those friends, too, like it just wasn't normal.

-I have never really felt comfortable around girls, but I usually have always felt right at home with boys and could talk to them more easily and had more to talk about with them. It used to get me in some trouble as far as losing friendships with guys who liked me and I definitely didn't like them. And I still feel more comfortable with guys and have to worry about not getting too close to them because of their wives/girlfriends or not wanting them to become interested or make a move. A lot of straight girls and women are like this, too, but one thing I think makes it weird in my situation is my family is absolutely littered with women--there really is no excuse for me to feel less comfortable with females and like I don't "get" them and have nothing in common with them, and to not fit in with them the way I've failed to fit in with them, but it has just always been that way. My household was my two sisters, my mother and my poor father. And then I have all these female cousins and nieces and my aunt. Hard to explain how it relates to understanding my being a lesbian, but it does.

 

In 6th grade there was this girl that I liked. I thought I just liked her as a friend since at this point still no one told me about gays and lesbians but when I felt differently about her after she got a haircut I was suspicious. Looking back it was certainly a crush.

 

I didn't know I was a lesbian in primary school but I remember having a massive crush on an older girl. I was about 7 or 8 and she was about 12. I even remember talking to a friend trying to work out if my feelings were normal so obviously I knew something was different about me. I described it as really wanting to be friends with someone but it was more than that. I asked the girl did she have an older girl she really wanted to be friends with. I wanted to know if I was abnormal. I knew the word gay but didn't know what it meant. I had many crushes on girls since. I thought it was just admiration until I was fifteen and had an epiphany. I was in church and suddenly knew I was gay.

 

I did that too because you know almost all the other girls had a crush on some boys who acted though and I just didn't. I wasn't impressed and was asking myself why they (the boys and the girls) were acting so weird (in retrospect I had that a lot lol). So I just picked out some boy (who didn't act as though as the others) and said I liked him. And I had totally forgotten but there was actually a girl in my class that I liked. I thought she was beautiful and I was intrigued by her. Although she wasn't even particularly nice to me (rather mean). I only did it once though. Once in high school I started to notice boys again, just not the boys most other girls noticed.

I had lots of posters on my bedroom wall too (until we moved) and they were all of boys or groups. But one of those groups was No Doubt of course including Gwen Stefani. I still remember asking myself at one point what it would feel like to kiss her.

I've really been good at developing crushes on female friends too. When I was younger I used to think they were "intense friendships". "I really had no idea you could have such intense feelings for another girl, that friendship for another girl could feel so intense." (sigh lol)

I absolutely feel comfortable around other women though and in general I prefer the company of women to the company of men (probably because me and men with macho behaviour don't go well together). Don't get me wrong, I can be friends with men just not the macho ones but I don't prefer being friends with men to being friends with women. I did have touching issues though when other women touching me casually before accepting myself. I don't have those anymore.

 

Yeah I'm this way even now. Never had male friends growing up, still have trouble with those. I just get along with women so much better which is funny because the stereotype is that gay girls had mostly male friends and I'm the opposite. But then again I'm bi, not gay, so no idea if that makes a difference.

 

I don't think it's a stereotype for lesbians to feel less comfortable with other women, but it was/is just something that applied/applies to me. Thinking about it more, I think it was kind of a sign for me because I realized on some level that I identify way too much with being a straight man where women are concerned. Like, they could talk about women or talk about how hard it is to approach, or it'd even be the case that my friend crushes would be the same ones all the guys liked, so as far as women go it was always "amen" when dealing with guys. And then I'd watch how girls interacted with boys, and I just couldn't understand/relate to it at all...and now all the talking about men that they do (among other more feminine topics).

Preferring male friends really has nothing to do with being able to put up with macho garbage. I really can't think of too many instances of the guys I've liked talking to acting macho. They might have done it more with their male friends.

I have never really heard that often, so I don't think it's that big of a stereotype. Like I mentioned on the gaydar thread, it stands out way more that gay men hang out with women...whereas with bi girls and lesbians, I think it's way more common for them to have female friends they fall for. In fact, it's so common, it's kind of an automatic eye-roller when I see posts like that on lesbian forums, lol. It's like, "Can't you just scroll down to the 50 other 'I'm in love with my straight best friend, need advice!!!!' threads and see what the users told everybody else to do??"

 

I had a crush on my bestfriend, and my uncle (caboose child) when I was seven, before I understood the concept of incest.

 

I actually recognize this. But I still prefer women to men to be friends with probably because I still have more in common with women. Although sometimes I don't understand them at all. I often don't understand the behaviour of straight men either. I don't really care which gender my friends are but it's a fact that practically all of my friends are women.

 

Yeah, I mean, there are whole bunch of reasons why I prefer men over women for socializing and not just this, including the whole "we have more in common" thing in the sense that...I don't think two people should have to have a lot in common to be friends, but it seems like many, many women do. I definitely felt pushed aside a lot growing up by other girls because of this, like maybe I'd meet a girl first and we'd start out building a friendship, and then she'd meet another girl she liked better because they identified with each other more and that was basically it. With guys, we talk about differences more and act more like it's interesting and a learning experience. But we also do usually like some of the same things.

I do think that, on a subconscious level, guys expect women to be different from them and vice versa, so the differences are accepted more in each other vs two women or two men. I don't feel like men and women generally have much in common, but they're still attracted to each other and build relationships if someone is straight or bi. You're also bisexual, so it makes sense that you have more in common with women and don't necessarily get everything I'm saying...like I said, I am only talking about what relates to me, it really was not meant to turn into anything else or repeated comments from other women focusing on that and how they don't relate to that (that's not what this thread is about), and I'm sure maybe some more masculine lesbians feel the same way, though definitely not all.

I know a lot of women get offended when a woman says they don't relate to women, prefer to hang out with guys, etc, but that makes sense for some women and not others.

And now I am done with this.

 

Ok, you apparently misunderstood my post. I just thought it was an interesting subject to write about. Just to be clear, I'm not offended in any way. I was just trying to understand you better.

 

I think this is a very good and healthy discussion. Please continue. I can assure you not all of us are offended. Nothing about this post is offensive to me but I don't know? I think it's healthy to agree to disagree.

 

Age 8: my best female friend and I kissed.
Age 13: I was betrayed by a female friend; years later I realized it hurt because I was attracted to her.

 

@Love4Ever Of course we can keep writing. I actually recently read this article (and had this article in mind while writing here). I thought perhaps you want to read it too. https://bisexual.org/bi-friendship/

 

Wow! That was a great article. I absolutely loved all the points he made. My view philosophically aligns with his exactly.

 

I happened to admire women and their bodies, in a more than oh I want her body. I wanted to touch and all that. For me, my sexual awakening was very early, in elementary school where secret telling between girls was more intimate than it should have been. In high school I secretly fell in love with an amazing girl who I didn't know was fully straight. I fell in love with guys too, I fell for all them hard all in a different way. Now I am college, and more aware of myself and what I like. I notice girls with pretty smiles and cute personalities. So I am still growing, even in my interests (in regards to types of women and men as well)

 

Growing up, I was a tomboy. I had more male friends than female friends, but felt jealous whenever one of my female friends talked to boys (or even other girls). I didn't know about homosexuality/bisexuality until I was around 12/13. I remember making out with a girl when I was around that age, so technically that was my first same-sex kiss (or kiss from either gender for that matter, lol). I remember that whenever my female friends and I played, I was always the "man" in the game. That's also how we ended up kissing (full-on make out session).

I also remember masturbating with a girl. I taught her how to masturbate when I first learned how to do it/what to do. I never really liked wearing skirts or dresses, and still don't. I never had a "girly" phase, though I had dolls. Speaking of dolls, one of my Barbies got her hair washed, and it being nylon, didn't take well to being blow-dried... I had to chop it all off, and she became my "Ken" doll. I always played rugby with the boys, and had a BB gun, and my male friends and I shot each other with our guns (And nobody lost an eye, imagine that!). I never grew out of the tomboy phase, and to this day, still have more male friends than female friends. I like being seen as "one of the guys", though that usually puts me in the friend-zone with them. Girls (women) seem to be attracted to my masculinity more than guys (men) but I won't let that stop me. I know there's someone special out there for me (For all of us really).

So that's my story of how I "knew" long before I KNEW... Lol