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Things that helped me

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Kmermaid00, Oct 15, 2020.

  1. Kmermaid00

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    I saw a post recently and lot on here that are similar to what I have been through. I wanted to share the things that helped me that might help others. I was a stay at home mom for nearly 12 years and was completely dependent on my ex-husband. I was dealing with my PTSD, my will to live, and coming out. I am now divorced, I came out, and I am more independent as a single mother. The first thing that helped me was getting help with my PTSD in counseling. Through counseling I learned a lot. After I went through the PTSD part of counseling we talked about other things. There my counselor gave me resources and ideas. I was living with my children and my ex-husband and completely dependent on him as I had very little money, almost no access to money (he was controlling and abusive.) I had no education beyond an expired certification after high school. The first thing I learned about independence was learning how to ride the city bus so I wouldn't have to depend on others for transportation. This may not be available where you are but I qualified for Para-transit. Which is not the same as the city bus. I qualified through my PTSD and stroke diagnosis. If you are someone with anxiety or PTSD I suggest this a a very big help as there are no transfers between buses like a fixed city route. I found out about this program through my States workforce program. I was going to be homeless and without a way to support myself and my children. So I qualified for a program at my states employment office for a program called vocational rehab. It is for people who have either never worked, have barriers to work such as a disability,or have not worked in a long time. I am disabled and did not work since I had quit my job before I had my special needs child which made me a stay at home mother for 12 years. The program was about 8 weeks and I worked in a training program at a store. I gained so much confidence and earned a little money. I had to use para-transit to get there and home for work. They have programs through the employment office that help find jobs or programs to help with education to be able to get a job. This really helped me a lot.I did apply for school and got a spot for a class at the college but it didn't work out. I am still a stay at home parent as a single mom but I learned a lot there and it was very helpful to meet people and realize that I am capable of learning, helping, and working outside the home. So I do have the confidence built through that program that I can work when I am ready. Through the place I went for counseling I found an LGBTQ support group. I made friends there and felt fully supported. I went before I came out and chose a label that I am comfortable with. I went for over a year before I was able to feel ready to come out. I was also in the process of getting divorced. I then found this support page and learned there were more people like me as an older person coming out and out of a marriage.In becoming confident through counseling and the work program I was able to go out and make friends who also helped me find resources. Now I live alone with my children after the divorce. Its been a little over a year. I was really scared before the divorce that I would not have a place to live or a way to support us. I was really scared about being on my own. I actually came out officially about a year ago. I am generally happy. I still deal with my mental health but I am able to handle it better after counseling. It was so scary thinking about being on my own during the divorce but these are a few things that helped me. I don't know if these programs are available in your city but its something to look into if you are in a similar situation.
     
    Drizzle, JennIsOn and Tartanskrt like this.
  2. Really

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    That’s so great you’ve come so far! Congrats! Also, super nice if you to share your process. I’m sure it’ll help a lot of people. Best of luck in whatever is next for you. :}
     
  3. QuietPeace

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    Congratulations. It is really nice to read someones story where even though they had to work really hard at it, things are working out.
     
  4. Tartanskrt

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    It's amazing how much you've come through and for strong you've become. You should be so proud of yourself.