Things getting worse, really need help

Lauren V · Aug 10, 2022

lottaotter said: ↑

I think I'm even past aplogising for being an ugly, attention-seeking piece of shit and a failure but sorry anyway to anyone who reads this.

I need an outlet. I can't even cut my wrists because my parents are visiting me and they'll see. I really want it all to end because things aren't getting better. All my effort is for nothing I will never ever come close to measuring up to even half what other people are I am disgusting and a waste of space.

This isn't the first time I've make this stupid type of self pitying post and I should be better by now I just don't get how. Nothing seems to work I feel like I'm invisible. Even if I get better now that is still 28 years wasted.

Why are other people so perfect? Maybe it's because they had parents who were capable of loving them and showing their love? Maybe they weren't touched up by the staff at nursery school when they were 3 years old? Maybe they don't have a dad who is alcohol-dependant? Maybe they didn't drop out of everything they tried because (unlike me) they are supported and actually have talent? Maybe they weren't repeatedly locked in a cupboard as a child and told that their mommy and daddy would never find them because they didn't love them?

Why the fuck did this happen to me? I think God actually hates me and you know what I hate me too. And probably everyone else does, everyone else who isn't using me as a goddamn emotional support crutch.

Can't phone samaritans because I have nowhere private to make the call and I don't deserve help anyway, and I wouldn't be able to take their advice or advice from a therapist because I'm so useless anyway and pathetic.

I'm sorry everyone but this might really be it. I'm so sorry this is so dramatic but I want attention so badly.
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DON'T YOU DARE APPOLOGISING FOR LIVING UR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girl, I'm so so so so so sorry this happened to you but you don't have to give up on your life because of what other people did. You don't hate your life, you hate the bad parts of it. You don't hate your favourite person, your favourite food, your favourite movie, your favourite ausement park, your favourite place, your favourite show, any of your favourite stuff.

Your parent did some shitty shit to you and I hope you will NEVER have to go trough that again. also, nobody is perfect, you got me?? My friends all think I'm this happy ass, skinny ass, heterosexual ass partygirl, but when the party's ove I cry in my bedroom thinking I need to lose more weight, thinking I'm not worthy of love because I'm gay, thinking my best friend (the only one knowing about my lesbian ass) would turn on me and tell everyone,...

All I'm saying is: everyone has some deep shit some people more than oters, but there are people that are here for you, so if you kill yourself, yes YOUR sufforing will end but all of your friends will hate themselves for not noticing your shit, and go down the same dark path as you did.

So please, read this message and think about it ok??

YOU ARE LOVED, YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS!!!!!!!!!

Things getting worse, really need help

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Lauren V Regular Member

Lauren V
Regular Member