The tension in my marriage is super high right now

m not looking forward to the weekend. The tension has been building for a few months and I’m starting to see it come out in arguments. He exploded verbally on me this morning about the kids lunch boxes?!? I went and hung out with neighbors last night and lunches were not made when I got home so I made them. I asked him this morning about it because I was surprised and he blew up saying he was surprised I didn’t pack them before i left to be with friends. Saying I am ridiculous for expecting him to do it etc... that I left him to finish putting the kids to bed. it doesn’t matter who was right or wrong - what matters was how he responded to the situation and his intent for choosing not to pack lunches. The point being that the smallest things are setting him off. We have not been intimate in a few months because I do not feel close to him. We are not communicating about our problems and have a couples session scheduled for the first week of December (earliest one we could get where all schedules align). I feel like I have to emotionally survive between now and then and do not look forward to the weekends where we are around each other more. He doesn’t know about my sexual orientation questioning I feel like there are other issues to address and just hate how he makes me feel when we argue. He feels like I am pulling away and disconnecting and I am because I do not feel an emotional connection, don’t feel heard or validated and emotionally supported by him. He has nice qualities but I’m not happy being with him and we do not seem to bring the best out in each other .but I feel like we need a therapist to mediate the tough conversations and trying to make it to December when we have our next session. Sorry for rambling and venting - just needed to get it out of my head.

 

The easily getting upset and making me feel bad about something is not out of character... this is a big part of why I am not happy with our marriage and why I am not sure if telling him about my sexual orientation would help or not. He is good about helping out if I ask him specifically and he’s trying to pitch in more without me asking but he way he handles conflict is similar to the described above. Does not see my side - he is always right and I am wrong and there is no need to discuss further attitude