The Ranting Thread (WARNING! May have swearing!)

I just feel like shit. And am very dysphoric right now. I blame my mirror. I don't have a mirror at home, for good reason, but the mirrors in this house are atatched to my wardrobe doors and I keep seeing them whatever I do.

 

I just talked to the councilor my gf recommended me and I think I'm going to hate it.
No wonder why she doesn't get better, this shit doesn't help! At least if I think about it on my own, I know how I think and I have the pride inside me that I did it all by myself, I helped myself, I didn't just dump my problems on some therapist who can't help me...


Fuck! I feel like crap but at least I wasn't feeling like I did last night; that was some crazy shit. As long as I don't feel that again I will be fine.
Sure, the lady was really easy to talk to but I don't feel any better about the matter.
She says she'll be reffering me to one of the interns. I mean, I can't expect to get her exclusive full attention but the intern?
Plus it doesn't help that she's beautiful, I can't cry in front of the pretty intern. This is going to suck! Why can't I just have the capacity to figure this out on my own like every other time? I'm so ashamed.
-_-

 

I'm So fucking tired of being in the situation I am. I wanna scream. So aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarghhhh!

 

To the people who come into the restaurant after church service: There should be a service on how not to treat your waitress like SHIT. I don't get paid minimum wage to be disrespected by you dumb fucks!

 

not a rant, just a heavy heart right now.....

 

I'm so mad at the girl that outed me at work to a guy that I specifically told her that I didn't want to know. What word comes to your mind that describes her?

 

fuck you minecraft cavern spawner... I spent 3 hours playing the game tonight, and not once ever did I see a single cave that had anything other than coal ore... guh... I need a cheat to tell me where the good caves are!!!

 

Fuck, fuck and fuck! It is super frustrating watching tv with my family and seeing these surfer dudes and thinking 'fuck they're hot' and I can't say a word because everyone would flip out. Then there were at least six times this weekend when people made 'humorous' (negative) remarks about being gay. Then my brothers and a friend of theirs were all talking about checking out this hot girl and couldn't get their eyes off her, and I relate far more when it's about a hot guy. I don't think they would be nasty if they knew, but I'm not out. I just want to be able to be free and open. Fuck!

 

Im fucking tired of smiling and laughing but not feeling happy

 

Honestly....my mother. >< She's got her life-is-a-problem filter on since she doesn't like preparing all the food for the New Year's party we're having. She's a real pessimist, and now she's going around randomly accusing me of "looking like my best friend died" and other such nonsense. And now she's got my Dad all flustered too, so I guess I'm gonna do a few month's worth of cleaning instead of spending time with my sis, who I've been waiting for all morning. :dry:

 

All I want is my knee to stop hurting. I'm on 1000 milligrams of pain medicine and it helps a little but not much. I also have a brace. My knee has been like this for 2 months, hopefully they will find something on the MRI.

If not I'm going to go crazy.... it's just too much pain to deal with on a normal basis.

 

i am sleepy as hell right now, my allergies are messing with me and i'm tired. masturbation is kind of taking a lot of me but at the same time, if i don't do it, i don't feel right.

 

I know I should be happy and all and start the year on a positive note. But I always get down in the dumps around the holidays, especially new years. I should be out partying and livin' it up, but all my friends are far away and my few friends I have at home don't really want to do anything. I'm lonely and want to be back at school with my friends and having a good time.

 

It's after midnight, I'm tired, and my Mormon next-door neighbors are yelling and playing the trumpet outside! I don't like that!

 

So that's how Mormons party! I've wondered that before.

 

I was pretty much poker-faced while reading this. Then I got to "I don't like that!" and proceeded to laugh until I had tears in my eyes. xD

 

When people quote a post on a forum and say "This."

Or, even WORSE, when they say something like "This, this, a million times this."

It just really makes me cringe for some reason. I'm perfectly fine if they quote it and say "This is a good post," or even if they just say "+1"... but any variation of "This" and I am instantly pissed off. It makes no difference if they then follow it with a massive, well written post either: if it starts with the single-word-sentence "This" then I am immediately angry.

I'm very easily annoyed by people using certain words in certain situations. A couple of days ago my mum was saying "We should eat up those leftovers," and I was just like "eat up, what the fuck does eat up mean? Why is there an up in that sentence?"

I am aware that these are completely unreasonable complaints by the way, but this is the rant thread.

And in 3...2...1 someone quotes this post and says "This."

 

I hate any time when my family makes negative jokes and comments about gay people and I have to go along with them even though we all know there's a fucking gay person in the room. And if I try to explain/defend gay people in whatever situation we're in, they cut me off all dramatically with their heads turned away like "no, no that's okay."

It's a real mind fuck and I could really use some times away from it.

 

My god, I feel so helpless.
Its times like these where there's no doubt in my mind that I'm gay.
My mom and grandma just went on a tangent with each other about how shameful it was that a relative of ours brought home a white girl. They're always talking about how we need to have kids with native guys no matter what and it puts SO much pressure on me.
1) I don't even like guys!
2) When I was dating guys, none of the Native ones were nice to me or right for me. And trust me, there were some top notch and perfect ones out there for my disposal but they just weren't right!
3) Native gay girls?! Forget about it! Its hard to find a gay girl that's interested in me as it is and trying to find a native gay girl?! God that's hard! She has to be native, right for me, she has to like me, and I have to like her? I can't imagine how hard that will me. I only know of one Native girl that might even come close to that criteria but I can't just be like "hi. I've been in the closet and had a crush on you during the summer. Wanna date me?" Oh please. After 2 years? I don't think so!

I'm sorry that I date white girls! I'm sorry that sometimes a white girl is what makes me happy! I'm sorry the white girls are the ones that like me back! I'm sorry! I'm so fucking sorry! I've never been more sorry in my life.

I just want to scream "I'm GAY. I LIKE WHITE GIRLS. DEAAAL WITH IT GOTDAMNIT!!!!"

But I also like brown girls, race isn't a big deal to me, its whoever I like that likes me back. Its not my fault.