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The Plan

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Angus44, May 28, 2017.

  1. Angus44

    Regular Member

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    So I'm thinking about coming out to my family fairly soon and would appreciate any advice on my plan.

    Here's some background: I have an older brother(20), an older sister(19), and a younger brother(13) in addition to my parents. I am quite close with my family and have decided that my being bi is something I need to share with them. I believe that my parents will be on-board with this as they are both generally accepting people. I also know my sister will be accepting as she has several LGBTQ friends and once described one of her teachers as "really cool" for being openly gay. My two brothers however are what I'm most concerned about. My older brother is very closed off in terms of his opinions on this sort of thing so I have no idea what his reaction will be. I'm also worried that my younger brother, being a thirteen year-old boy, might be really judgmental, and I really don't want to loose the good relationship I have with him.

    Now for my plan: I have decided to come out to my sister sometime this summer while she is home from college because I think it will be good to have someone close to me who I can talk to about this stuff. As for my parents, I think I'm going to wait a bit longer to let them know because I feel like it's a big step that I'm not yet ready for.

    And finally a bit about myself: I'm generally a very introverted guy and I tend to procrastinate and come up with excuses not to do things. I'm also kind of emotional when it comes to these things so I'm a bit worried about rejection.

    What do you all think? Any advice on handling the situation with my brothers?
    Thanks,
    Gus
     
  2. Sienrar

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    It looks like you have nothing to worry about. As long as you muster up the courage to do it one day you're fine, it doesn't really matter how you do it.

    I also procrastinated about coming out for a long time, but the important thing was that I did it. Don't worry yourself too much and just say it one day.
     
  3. Quantumreality

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    Hey Gus,

    You should only Come Out to someone if/when you feel comfortable doing so and if you feel it is safe to do so. Unfortunately, we can never KNOW how anyone will actually react to your Coming Out until we actually do so. But, as you already know, one of the best ways to get a feel for how they might react is to get an indication is to learn their attitude towards LGBTQ people and issues.

    It sounds like you are ready to Come Out to your sister and have every reason to expect a totally accepting reaction from her. After you Come Out to her, have you considered asking her thoughts about Coming Out to your brothers?

    It’s completely understandable that you are emotional when it comes to these things. When you Come Out to someone, you telling them very personal and private information about yourself and in the moment that you tell them you feel totally vulnerable and exposed. And even if it only takes a couple of seconds for them to react, it can feel like forever while you wait for them to ‘judge’ you.

    Often, the people that we have the hardest time Coming Out to are our parents and best friends. That is usually because they are the people that we rely on the most for support and unconditional love/friendship and it there is even a slight chance that they may reject us simply because we are not straight, it can be terrifying to even confront that slight possibility.

    Just some thoughts.:slight_smile:
     
  4. Sleeping Owl

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    I think it's in your best interest to come out to whoever is easiest. Your sister sounds like a great place to start. I've come out to my brother and it was a natural extension to the conversation. Good luck!