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the kids....

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by arturoenrico, Feb 15, 2015.

  1. arturoenrico

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    the kids...

    In my sadness and loneliness, I think often of how much I miss being in my house raising my kids, who are both in college now. This weekend I went to see them both, which was so grand. Yesterday I drove to have breakfast with my son, watch his basketball game, meet his teammates, and have a quick bite of late lunch. It was just great to see him happy and thriving. And, I love the the youthful energy and enthusiasm.

    Today I drove out to have an early dinner with my daughter, who is beautiful, and like a stand up comic. Doesn't matter what lies heavy on your heart, after 5 minutes with her, you're laughing and smiling.

    So I guess I did something good, somehow.

    :wow:
     
  2. FreedMan

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    Congratulations. That says a hell of a lot. Yep, you did good. Savor that satisfaction and good fortune.
     
  3. Spaceman

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    What could be better seeing your children thriving and knowing you played a huge role in their success? How many people reach their older years regretting that they weren't a better parent or that they never had the chance to be one? These are regrets you won't have to experience. Let this temper any regrets you may have about coming out late.
     
  4. greatwhale

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    I find that my relationship with my kids is changing for the better.

    This weekend, my son called me to spend some time with me, it has been pretty rare for him to do this as I am normally the one to ask if he wants to come by on "my" (every other) weekend and lately he has been reluctant to come, such that he has not been over more than 5 times since September; he feels he is betraying his mother by coming to me, it is a conflict within himself that he has not resolved and which she does nothing to counter, but every time we speak and every time he comes over, he knows he is loved and we have a great time together. He has my undivided attention, we do homework together, I am not the "fun" parent (taking him to movies or such on a regular basis), when I'm with him, I am a parent, full stop.

    Yes, I miss the day-to-day with my kids very much, but a lesser version of this would be happening anyway if I were still at home, as they are in their adolescent years. My older son has a GF, my daughter has a BF, so they spend very little time at home anyway, or they are all in the phone/text/Skype/computer game dimension all the time. Very often I interact with them on Facebook, it works and I believe I am more in touch because I have to consciously open the lines of communication, oddly enough much more than I would have by being with them in their home.
     
  5. looking for me

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    i recon im pretty lucky in that regard, my son lives with me and sees his mother once a month where possible. we communicate pretty well, as much as a teen and an adult will LOL. he's a good kid, very tolerant, accepting and empathetic.

    to the OP, if your kids are doing well, pat yourself on the back for doing a good job.
     
    #5 looking for me, Feb 16, 2015
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2015
  6. arturoenrico

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    I can pat myself on the back for being a good dad; fortunately my wife and I do not have animosity so she doesn't undermine my relationship with the kids, or vice versa. One goal for me is to do for myself what I have done for them; that's the hard part.
     
  7. skiff

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    Yup...

    I cried first day of school kindergarten and then again moving them to university.

    That makes it all worth it.

    Happy for you.