Highlander : I am so sorry this has happened to you and I am trying to apply what Weston said, "Perhaps the take-away from this should be the knowledge that you have the capacity to truly love someone and to experience that emotion to the fullest as a gay man," to my own situation. It was actually the abrupt and unexpected end of a similar relationship with another married man that prompted my coming out to my wife. It's been 8 months since it all came crashing down and I still miss him and think about him every day. The end of that relationship plus the continuing aftermath of coming out to my wife has left me in a constant state of nausea since last May. Hugs from the other side of the Atlantic.