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the doctor says my partner is dying

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by baristajedi, Mar 12, 2021.

  1. baristajedi

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    I’ve been with my partner 10 months. I really love them. It’s early days but we share pets and we’ve talked about the future, we’re in love. They bought a camper van shortly after we started dating, and it’s been “ours”, we go to the woods in it, make love. My daughter was starting to let them in emotionally. They have secondary liver cancer. I’ve been supporting them, coming over every chance I have. I manage to be there close to half the week, helping them with things because they’re in so much pain. They don’t have anyone caring for them, just me and it’s getting bad now, they’ll need carers or maybe hospital but they really want to be at home. They had a really bad reaction to the chemo and haven’t been strong enough for a second dose. I have been wanting to talk to the oncologist and we finally talked yesterday and it was so bleak, he said there’s no way to cure the cancer (which I knew), but he said that if we manage to control the cancer it might not buy us much time, and I’m just so so sad. If my partner isn’t strong enough for more chemo or if they opt out of it, then the time is even more short. My partner doesn’t want to hear time frames. So I’m just sitting here with this knowledge and I don’t know what to do with it. He told me some rough times, I didn’t ask, but I suppose it helps me understand so I suppose it’s good to know. I’m so sad.
     
  2. chicodeoro

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    Oh Christ Baristajedi, I'm so so sorry to hear this.

    Sometimes the universe seems completely random. You must be thinking 'why is this happening to me?' I don't know. Any more than I did when I lost my own partner suddenly just over a year ago.

    You're obviously supporting your partner but do you have friends who can support you, who can help you practically and emotionally during this time?

    There's nothing I can say that will take away this pain but I'm sending out love and strength to you and your partner.

    Beth
     
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  3. RD Spencer

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    Sorry that you and your partner are going through this. I can’t imagine how tough it is for you to go through this, but it is a good thing that your partner has someone like you to be there for them. People need that. Take care and stay strong.
     
  4. Nic2552

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    I’m sorry to hear this, I will send my prayers.
     
  5. Peterpangirl

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    I am so very very sorry for your pain and I do hope you have friends close by to support and love you through this.
     
  6. Suitsme

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    So sorry to read your sad news. You must be going through real sadness right now. Sending healing thoughts, love and light.
     
  7. quebec

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    baristajedi.....So very sorry. There is so much that we all want to do and so very little that we can do. We will all keep you in our minds and in our prayers. We will be here as a support any time you need us. If there were more we could do, you know that we would.
    .....David :gay_pride_flag: