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The benefits of being bi

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by IanGallagher, Jul 4, 2012.

  1. IanGallagher

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    Yeah, I know some parts can be hard. But, what would you say some of the benefits are?

    Personally:

    1) Being able to acknowledge the pros in both men and women and having the freedom to like and be with either.
    2) Knowing what attracts you to the same sex so you can use that to attract the opposite sex lol. Although as guys we'll never know all of the secrets of girls - we can at least know what draws our attention and use that.
    3) You see the world in gray rather than black and white.
     
  2. Night Rain

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    Compared to what? Compared to being straight or being gay?
    Compared to being gay:
    - More, many more potential love interests.
    - The possibility of having a "normal" life and blending in the society.
    - Easier to be accepted by the homophobic family.

    Compared to being straight:
    - Some more potential love interests.
    - If you ever feel bored with a gender, you can always go for the other!

    Compared to both:
    - Can appreciate both genders without being grossed out.
    - More ways to have sex (= more ways to enjoy sex) lol.
     
  3. IanGallagher

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    The "normal" life and accepted is - it's kind of a myth many gay people have.

    When we come out, we're still saying "we like guys and we think that guys is really cute." We're all still saying we are attracted to guys. If the family doesn't accept it then they're not accepting liking the same sex rather than the label behind it.

    Plus - in public, when seeing a hot guy we react the same way and if we're out on a date with a guy. People aren't looking at you as a dude who likes both - they're looking at you as a dude who is gay. Their minds really can't see that one could be bi and the other gay. So I'd say that just applies to more masculine and "straight-acting" (don't like that phrase either) guys whether gay or bi. You're not really going to stick out unless you're on a date with a guy. In terms of later in life - wife, picket fence, etc. - that's true, BUT I seriously think the world is changing especially within our generation and kids younger than us.

    So actually some of the hardships gay guys face, we face as well in some terms. And yeah, it is cool being able to be with anybody.

    One thing I noticed recently due to summer. Is I'm really finding myself towards guys in muscle shirts or tank tops. Just seeing skin is having the same effect as seeing skin on girls. So got a similar shirt today. You think guys look hot like that = girls think guys look hot like that = girls will look your way more.
     
  4. Night Rain

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    Not really, when you're bi, your parents are less worried because they can hang on the hope that there's still the possibility that you will fall in love with a girl. :grin:
    I would loved to be bi. When I was young, really young, I always imagined how my family would be like, how the girl would look like,... and throughout my life, there were some really good girls who I still seriously consider marrying were it not for the fact that I am gay. And some of them liked me too. Too bad. :frowning2:
     
  5. Mej7

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    I hate being bi. I wish I was either gay or straight, because that is what is expected of you, and more people would understand me then. Many people think all you can be is straight or bi, and it is hard to deal with that. When you are bi, you have to deal with 2 different phobias, instead of one: you deal with homophobia AND biphobia. It sucks. And people always make assumptions about you. It is sooo annoying.
    And it complicates things a bit as well.
     
  6. Night Rain

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    Wanna trade? :wink:
     
  7. IanGallagher

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    ALSO "why are you pursuing that dude when you like chicks?"

    I think gay guys looking in think we have it easier because we like both, but it's a blessing and a curse. Well, you can view it as a blessing. You can say "cool, I can be with both." But on the same hand girls are bound to be skeptical of you as well as gay guys. They are also always wondering if you actually are gay and are "fooling yourself." Parents may still have the fear that although liking both, there's a similar opportunity of a same sex marriage in the wings. Your friends might think "since you like girls, this guy thing will probably just fade away" or "are you sure you're not gay?" We get the double whammy. And many bisexuals have openly said they'd love to be one or another - even if that meant being gay. There's some benefits, like the ones I listed but not being discriminated against isn't one of them.

    [youtube]2VRIOXbCueA[/youtube]
     
  8. sguyc

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    You can choose which gender you end up with. If you want to you can live a completely straight life (most make this choice).
     
  9. LisforLisa

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    I'm gay but I would date a man but only if he was transgender ftom. Even though I am gay I still feel that I should get married to a man.
     
  10. Philvanuirle

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    Though you are gay, you can still fall in love with a man/woman if you are a pansexual. Pansexual is when one falls in love with any gender.
     
  11. WeirdnessMagnet

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    Straight marriage being a genuine option isn't the same as "completely straight life." If you try that, it's almost as much a closet as if you were 100% gay and hiding it.

    A good part of biphobia is really bi-envy, especially on the gay side... And bisexuality, as most enviable things, does come with some serious strings attached. But it is overall, an enviable thing. Yes, you can have some freedom of choice, yes, you can have thoughts, insights and experiences no straight or gay person could... It's just not as simpole as many think.
     
  12. Spatula

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    It is a complicated life, with complicated problems.

    I wish I had a clever one-liner to make it sound better but I don't.
     
  13. King

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    I wouldn't say I'm envious of bisexual guys any more then I'm envious of straight guys (which isn't much) because I realized I wouldn't make a very good man in a straight relationship. I, personally, think bi-envy from the gay side has reasons limited to small groups - essentially the only reason I'm jealous (and I mean jealous by all means) is that a bisexual man can have biological babies (minus all the fancy doowop and doctors and that jazz). And alas, I cannot.
    As for bi-phobia, who even knows. I think some gay men wouldn't want to date a bi guy because they'd feel inferior, as if the bisexual guy was more "manly" because he could date a woman. I myself would be uncomfortable dating a bi guy just because I wouldn't understand his attraction to women and I'd probably just be confused... I'd feel different from him. But, if I meet a bi guy and we get along well enough, I wouldn't write him off.
    Just musings from a gay guy...

    EDIT: Sorry, I should probably add that this is a response to previous mentions. I don't know the benefits of being bisexual (obviously).

    King x
     
  14. dasazn

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    To quote Woody Allen (I think): "Being bi immediately doubles your chances of a date Saturday night."
    To quote a friend: "Being bi means I can stick my hands in anybody's pants and be happy with what I find."

    All humor aside, people who are bi have the chance to be rejected (or accepted) by both the gay and straight communities. While people who are bi can fit into both groups, they may also be rejected for not being totally gay or totally straight.

    I wouldn't say there's much benefit to being bi, gay, or straight as compared to the others - being gay, one would experience the pleasures of homosexual relationships; a straight person would experience the pleasures of heterosexual relationships; and a bisexual person would experience a bit of both, though not to the same extent as the others. It all comes down to who you are...as Lady Gaga put it, we were all born this way.
     
  15. IanGallagher

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    Confusing thing is gay and straight monthS lol. Past two months I thought I might actually be straight. Now I've been boy crazy for two weeks and questioning if I could be gay despite those straight months next questioning if I really am straight due to being girl crazy lol.
     
  16. Spatula

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    It's not like your sperm stops working if you're gay. You and your boyfriend can just team up with a pair of lesbians, have 4 kids and split them between the two couples. Is it more complicated? Sure. But this has been done by many families in the past.
     
  17. Ianthe

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    Because lesbians are just standing in line to carry babies we aren't going to raise in our bodies for 9 months, with all the health care costs and the hardships on our bodies, when we can just go to a sperm bank. Right. (By "in the past," shall I suppose you mean "before sperm banks"?) And a woman who has carried a baby inside herself for 9 months does not grow attached to it at all, I suppose, and will be happy to give the baby up at the end there.

    And there are significantly fewer lesbians than gay men in the first place.

    Surrogates are expensive. Having biological children is not impossible for gay men, but it can be difficult and costly.

    And all of that aside, it is still not the same as having a child that is biologically BOTH YOURS AND YOUR PARTNER'S. Which is something many gay people actually do want, and cannot have. To look at a child that came from both of you, and resembles both of you, a living product of your love.

    All the ways that gay families are created are meaningful and valid, but that doesn't mean that gay people who would like the experience of having biological children with their partners do not experience a genuine loss, or that we have nothing to envy from people who have that option.
     
  18. BudderMC

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    From an evolutionary standpoint, this is stupid on so many levels for the women (the men too, to an extent) to do, but I won't get into that. Is it successful? Maybe. But it certainly isn't easy and is much more doomed for failure than any other straight couple "regularly" having a child.

    Anyway, and this will probably only be taken as a "gay guy looking in" view, but I'm a little annoyed by the amount of "bi people have it so hard because everyone is skeptical" views popping up. Bi people have it no easier or harder than other gay people. Sure, more people are skeptical of you, but you also have a much larger dating pool than gays. If you wanted (yes, wanted, it is in no way necessarily ideal) you could have a straight relationship. And if you're concerning yourself so much with what other people think of you - you know, those people who will reject you because you date the gender opposite to them - you're doing it wrong. You're upset because these people reject you? Would you really want to be in a relationship with someone so shallow anyway?

    More people reject you because you have more people to date in the first place. I'm sure the odds even out for all of us in the end.

    EDIT: The point of that pseudo-rant was that it feels to me, from what I've been seeing lately, that the bi community feels this need to distinguish themselves from the rest of the LGBT community, and I really don't get why.
     
    #18 BudderMC, Jul 6, 2012
    Last edited: Jul 6, 2012
  19. Zontar

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    I personally don't see the bright side of it.

    I haven't been with either sex, nor do I frequently get any opportunities, but one thing that does pop into my head when one comes up is what I'd be missing if this person was "the one". Would I spend the rest of my life wondering what breasts felt like, or what penis feels like?

    I'm utterly deplorable at getting casual sex (or any sex really) to experiment, so I have a feeling I'll be dying with one of those on my mind. I wish I could care less about either or.
     
  20. sguyc

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    As a gay person, the not having kids thing is really really annoying as well. No offense, but I want to have a kid with my partner not some random person in a catalogue, nor some friend who I have to share them with.