Hello All....on December 25th I will celebrate my third gay birthday. To say that it will be a happy occasion is an understatement. On Dec. 25, 2014 I sat in my office crying in the depths of despair. I was staring at two things, my computer with the empty closets website up and a bottle of 90 percocet pills. Through sobs I decided to try empty closets in the hope that anyone would respond. When I made that very first post I not only came out on EC, but I came out to myself for the very first time...I was 64 then. I gave it one hour...that's all I though that I could hold it together. Folks here on empty closets did not let me down...they responded and very literally saved my life that night. I've gone through many changes since then, constructing the new (real?) me. I am no longer the guilt-ridden, shameful, self-hating person that I was for over 50 years. Now I truly love myself and am happier than I have ever been! So this is a "Thank You" to empty closets and all the people here. It is also an encouragement for all of us to reach out...to offer help and encouragement to those of our LGBT family who so need us to assure them that, whatever society, etc. has told them, they aren't broken, they aren't a mistake. They are as they were were intended to be and we love them. Thank You just for who you are. ....david
first David, i've been there, years ago. but let me say, i am very glad you are here. and happy early 3rd 'gay' birthday. and Merry Christmas.
Congratulations, David! Isn't it amazing how completely different life can be in such a short time? I still find myself in shock some days, on the one hand at how many things have NOT changed, and on the other how hand now many are completely new. I find that the attitudes of people in general are evolving very quickly lately. A priest that my partner and I know, who has been very active in outreach to the LGBT community (and ironically is a relative of my partner's decidedly UN-accepting ex), recently stood up in his church and told his Catholic congregation that he was gay and needed to be honest about it. The parish has been remarkably, almost shockingly, accepting. As much of a surprise as their reaction was, it's not that rare anymore, because as the years have gone by, who DOESN'T know someone, a co-worker, friend, or family member, who has come out and shown the world that they are the same person gay and out that they were gay and closeted (except often a whole lot happier)? You've noted meeting up with old friends who were gay, and the general lack of judgment you have had from some circles. I've certainly had surprises at how calmly people have taken my coming out, and how completely many of them, notably my children, have accepted it. The community at large is changing their attitudes toward us, and quickly. It's not all rosy everywhere, of course, but things have changed amazingly in just the few years since gay marriage was ruled legal. Most importantly, though, we know that we are not alone. The feelings of despair you had 3 years ago came out of hiding, isolation, fear or rejection, and the feelings I remember from before I came out, so much of them were created by the belief that we were unique in our struggles, and no one would understand because really, how could you be married for decades and then decide you're gay? Finding a community of people who have all experienced that, in their own different ways, is a great gift. We're not alone after all, not freaks and not even a small number of people. And sharing our experiences may give courage to someone we don't know yet, who is going through the same thing, So happy birthday, congratulations, and thank you, from all of us and some other anonymous guy facing a dark night with a bottle of pills, who just needs to know he isn't alone in this. He may get just enough hope from your story to keep going.
Happy 3rd gay birthday! and I'm so glad you found EC and found yourself. This community is so vital to so many of us, I'm so glad you found a place you could turn to in such a dark place and i feel lucky I've had the opportunity to be here for a little of your journey <3
Hey David, Every time I am with my LGBT friends, whether in our Gay Village, or during Pride, or within our close circle of friends, I frequently remind myself that all of these people have gone through what we went through...each and every one of them has had to go through to confront themselves and others with this essential truth...some with ease and many with difficulty, but all had to go through this "portal", as it were. I consider us all the better for having done it!
So happy for you David. Here's to many more years of you absolutely owning your sexuality. You go, dude.