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Telling a friend who's possibly queer

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by SelflessSellout, Mar 13, 2018.

  1. SelflessSellout

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Canada
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    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I started reconnecting with my friend from elementary school and we're getting along really well. Lately I'm suspecting that they're trans/queer because they just cut 11 inches of hair off and have been wanting to get pride shirts. They also have been explaining how they want to order something behind their parents back and that the package was super discreet (it's probably a gc2b binder because I've read that desciption online)

    It's possible that I'm looking into it too much but they're accepting anyways. I also want to help out in their situation too because I've been there and I want to support them. I want it to be casual but I've never come out to anybody as trans (semi-newbie here) so are there any tips for coming out to a possibly queer friend? I want to do it via texting because I hardly ever get to talk to them alone (crowded school+large friend groups).

    You can just give tips on casually coming out in general too
     
  2. LogicNoSense

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    It's great that you want to help a friend, and show that you're gonna be there for them. It's a pretty big step for you, I think.

    Personally, when I came out to my friends, I just told them in the middle of the conversation. (Apparently, it was as blunt as, "Oh btw, I'm bi.") And while some were shocked, others just went "Oh, okay." I guess where I'm studying now, it's pretty accepting and open. Especially since I came out to them pretty early on meeting them, so it's understandable that they were shocked, hahaha! But honestly, in my opinion, I think being straightforward is the best way to go. And maybe, explain your situation, too. If you really suspect that they're trans/ queer, maybe listening to your situation would be helpful to them, too. It always helps when you've got someone by your side.

    Drop them a text, and maybe try to talk it out in more detail face to face. Texting always leaves out a lot of information (visual cues, tone, etc) so talking it out will lessen any misunderstandings, though I'm hoping there's not gonna be any.

    Best of luck!
     
  3. anotherBI

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    It seems you have found somebody that you could possibly connect really well with. If your friend is queer there is nothing better then coming out to someone that has experienced things you have. If you really trust this friend then I think you should come out (it is a huge relief after) One casual way you could come out is just try to get onto the topic of LGBT+ (seeing how they react could help you see if you should come out) after getting onto that topic say that you are trans and thats why you feel that way about LGBT rights or stereotypes or whatever worked for you. The topic of stereotypes worked best for me, I stared the conversation by saying "whats the weirdest stereotype you heard?" I answered my own question after they answered by saying some popular LGBT stereotypes.
    I hope all goes well
    -Fellow Canadian