So I can't get this woman out of my freakin' head. I posted about her before - the lesbian that is not in a relationship and acts like she is attracted to me in person, but in texts nothing. She completely has stopped texting - never responded to a question I sent over a week ago. But again the next time I saw her irl we talk as if nothing is wrong, she locks eyes with me. I know flirtation I consider myself to be a master of the art. She flirts. So I am thinking maybe she just doesn't know I am gay and doesn't want anything written that could get her in trouble if I am not? Or I am just fooling myself because I am attracted to her. I have other women interested in me and want to meet up irl which is great, but then I think about her again and it's like - if there was even a small chance to go out with her, no to the rest. I was thinking about texting her and just telling her something stupid about my phone messing up because of a known lesbian app to see how she reacts to that.... or she's a player.... Oh just tell me to stop...
She may just not be a texter. I'm not. For me texting is "I'll be there at ten after" or "can you pick up cottage cheese?" If anyone actually tried to have a conversation with me by text it just wouldn't happen. I wouldn't necessarily read a lot into it...
Or she might not be communicating what she wants to say or feel through a text. I enjoy texting but I rather talk on the phone or in person. I seeing people’s reactions to what I’m saying it’s hard to know through a text.
Some people struggle a lot understanding nuance when it comes to text. Especially people who may deal with dyslexia or adhd. In those cases, people may feel more comfortable talking in person rather than dealing with the filter of technology.
If you know she's lesbian but are unsure she knows you are, too, why don't you come out to her directly and see how she responds? Might as well just ask her out for coffee or something...
ok so I confess I am still to chicken to tell her I am lesbian. "I am Lesbian" now imagine me standing in a wonder woman pose...lol Seriously though, I responded to one of her formal texts formally with Ms. Last Name as the starter. I think that got her riled because she actually texted back using my first name only and a Hey! very much informal and nice. She is so playing games...
I think only way you will know is to call her out. Ask her whats her deal, she formal one minute and hey girl the next. You don’t have to tell her you’re a lesbian.
Okay update on this issue here - I had to reset my phone back on the 16th and because of the heartache her texting caused I just didn't add her number back in. We've talked in person and still she seemed flirtatious to me, but I have remained calm and backed off in flirting. No number in my phone so no texts. Then with the holiday I actually didn't see her again until this last week. We talked, she flirted and then I get a text from her. My head goes haywire again. Like I am great in person, by email but for some reason seeing her text pop up drives me crazy. She was nice not formal and so she became all I could think about again. After debating what to do for several days, I texted back something along the lines of she only has married friends, I only have married friends, so if she ever wants to go out with a single adult friend I would be here. Her response has me confused. I think it was a polite blow off. She said "Thanks, I appreciate the offer." So that is basically a 'Not going to happen', right? Why can't people just be direct with no room for questions?
You want her to be direct, so you should also be direct. Set the expectation you wish to receive back. Don't play games hinting at being single, don't lie about lesbian apps you don't actually use crashing on you, etc. Ask her out specifically and see what happens! So far, you seem to be going bonkers because you can't extract what you want from her, when it's possible she's just not a texter and she's introverted enough to not presume to ask you to do something with her as a charity case. You can't control other people and it's not ethical to try to. Just be yourself and advocate for what you want. It seems like a vulnerable step, but it's the healthiest way to start a relationship.
An unforgettable, unforgettable vibration. But if you want her to come back, it takes a lot of persistence for a long time.
Thanks @UMedusa although harsh, you are 100% correct. I am not giving what I expect. It is so much easier with people you feel nothing for.
Oh and I never did those things - the app issue or hinting of being single. I thought about it true, but I am an honest person.
Sorry, I misread. I thought the bit about texting as Ms. [last name] was to convey you were single, but I see now it was intended as a jab at the formality in the texts overall. Also, I'm sorry that I came across harshly. :-/ It's just my perspective and that's usually best taken with some salt. Thank you for the update, I'm pulling for you!
