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Taking my first steps as a lesbian

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Nicole234, May 1, 2020.

  1. Nicole234

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    Hi Everyone,

    This is my first message on this forum.

    I'm a 36-year old woman living in New York. Last year I separated from my husband who I'd been with for 12 years after realising and telling him that I was gay. This followed me developing feelings for a close female friend a couple of years ago, which really triggered everything that has followed.

    There have been many ups and downs of emotion related to separating from a husband I loved, for him and me. But seven months after the separation I am beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel, dating women (which has been an incredible, revelatory experience) and slowly coming out to those around me.

    Looking to chat with anyone who might be going through, have gone through a similar experience - to share stories and support each other.
     
    SweetT80, Landgirl, Tia Truly and 4 others like this.
  2. LostInDaydreams

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    Welcome to EC and well done on all your progress! :slight_smile:

    I’ve been through fairly similar - was in a heterosexual relationship for about 9 years and we have a daughter together. We split up just under a year ago and haven’t got as far as dating yet.

    I hope you enjoy EC and find it helpful!
     
  3. Lia Maz

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    I am married ( twice as long as you!) Realised last year I was attracted to women. Have told my husband but we are still together and I’m not sure where I go from here. I’d be interested to hear more of how you got to where you are now.
     
    SweetT80 likes this.
  4. Fuzzy

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    I've been married for a similar length of time and I just filed for divorce recently. I'm waiting on the final judgement. I have not met a specific woman, but would love to.
     
  5. Really

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    Welcome to EC!

    Lots of good support and conversations to be had. :}
     
  6. mellissa

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    Welcome to EC. If you ever want to talk, just post a thread and we will be happy to reply.
    If you don't mind me asking, what is it like to date women? I have never had the opportunity and given my age, I'm thinking about trying it for the first time. Is it awkward? Is it confusing? Where do you even meet other Bi/Lesbian women? I feel like every girl I ever liked was straight.
     
    Lia Maz likes this.
  7. Kmermaid00

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    I am 35 and identify as pansexual. I was married for 13 years to a man. We divorced in August and have two children. I loved him so much that it was so painful the last time we separated and finally divorced. I am doing much better now. Ive been through similar of what you are talking about except I am not dating women at this time.
     
  8. Lia Maz

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    Hi, I was wondering if you don’t mind me asking, what made you decide to separate given that you loved your husband so much? I imagine it must have been something pretty significant. I am married and unsure of the way forward for me.
     
    SweetT80 and Kmermaid00 like this.
  9. Kmermaid00

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    I cheated on him with a woman and then I got sick. He left me every time I became more sick. He told me he stopped loving me and didn't care about me at all. It was necessary to split up. He was also abusive. It'm out to some people now but I wasn't while we were married other than close friends and the people who knew I cheated with a woman. Also I'm much happier now.
     
    #9 Kmermaid00, May 4, 2020
    Last edited: May 4, 2020
  10. Lia Maz

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    It sounds like it was a very difficult time for you but you have come out of it happier. Thank you for being so open.
     
    Kmermaid00 likes this.
  11. silverhalo

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    Hey welcome to EC, sounds like you have been on quite a journey. Congratulations on getting so far, sounds like the world will be your oyster, once it all gets out of lockdown :slight_smile: