Today I will be going to my Nanas house to go to a barbeque and swim. The only problem is that I am an FTM trans boy and hate my body. It has been extremely hot and I will need to go swimming but I'm too nervous. I have swim trunks and a binder that I bought specifically for swimming and another one to change into after but I'm too scared. Being around people and showing my body that looks so feminine is hard. I'm not on hormones and have not had any surgeries yet. To make matters worse, I will be meeting my aunt's boyfriend today and my nana is prone to misgendering me. All the time. I know it takes time but she's known for about six-eight months now. It often feels like she isn't even trying. Shell use my dead name and when my mom corrects her shell say "well it doesn't bother HER that much does it?". I'm petrified about today. Even though its extremely hot I don't think I'm gonna end up swimming. We leave in about ten minutes and I'm so nervous.
Talk to your aunt about it. Tell her that it is really important for you to not be misgendered and deadnamed. Ask your mom to be by your side when you'll talk. Hope everything goes good!
Hey for your swimming issue- I have ideas- I’m a competitive swimmer and see people buying this “tech suit” thing that is like a woman’s swim suit but it goes down to 4 inches above your knee maybe 2. These cost more and you may have to save for a while. I’ve found that buying a suit a size or two below compresses your chest with a normal women’s suit. So I would guess it works the same with tech suits. Second solution- try getting a nude color binder and pairing it with swim trunks, I saw this ftm guy in a photo like that and thought it looked cool.
I do have a nude colour binder but it doesn't make me look like I have a shirt off. Thank for the reply!
I recently went to the water park with my boyfriend and his family. It was stressful because I hadn't swum in about 4 years given my identity. I ended up wear swimming trunks and a loose rash guard (with a binder underneath). It ended up working super well and I got to enjoy swimming again, but it is really hard to be able to get past the mental barrier. I hope that one day you are able to hop in without a second thought!
