1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Struggling with body positivity.

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Kodo, Jul 14, 2018.

  1. Kodo

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 27, 2015
    Messages:
    1,830
    Likes Received:
    849
    Location:
    California
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Lately I've been struggling a lot with body image issues. I currently weigh 150 pounds and am 5'7. I workout regularly but have a bit of chub, despite how much I might workout (e.g. I bike 20 miles almost every day for two months and haven't lost any weight). I'm a vegetarian, and generally eat healthy. When I get upset I tend to eat more and then feel disgusted by how much fat I have on my body. I feel a lot of pressure to be thin, have abs, or just be somewhat muscular at least. Not just from society telling me that's what handsome looks like, but from myself. It's like it's become so engrained in me that I can never think I'm cute or handsome because I have any fat at all.

    I don't know what to do other than diet and exercise like crazy to change my body to fit that impossible goal of a handsome masculine body. Does anyone have any experience with building a better relationship with their body? What do you do for body positivity?

    (I just realized I posted this in Chit Chat. If someone could move it to Gender Identity & Expression that would be great).
     
    #1 Kodo, Jul 14, 2018
    Last edited: Jul 14, 2018
  2. DreamerAsh

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2018
    Messages:
    207
    Likes Received:
    97
    Location:
    Oklahoma
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    As someone who uses working out to deal with things and get out of my head. I can tell you abs aren't as easy to get as you think. The ones I know of who have them are always working out and never have any free time, or rest. It's all they care about. It's not as important, or worth it, as it seems. My friend told me in reference to body negativity, that most people do have some form of body fat and all the men and women with abs had to work hard for it, it takes time, effort and you have to learn to love yourself now. If, you focus so much on the end goal, then when you do reach it, you'll find you spent too long disliking your appearance when you could have used that positive body image energy already to help you work out better, inspire you.

    What works for me is finding small things everyday to admire about myself. Something that doesn't have to do with body fat, or muscles. Like your eyes, hair, faceshape, cheekbones, or even the fact that one part of your body is really toned, even if the rest of it hasn't caught up to it yet. Maybe your smile, or voice is attractive. It's not just your body that makes you attractive, it's the other things too.
     
  3. Secrets5

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2015
    Messages:
    1,964
    Likes Received:
    77
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Just set your goal and keep positive about it. We don't always have to love how we look currently but have a goal and stay positive about reaching it then you are taking a positive approach to your body.
     
  4. LoveisLov

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2018
    Messages:
    56
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    England
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Positivity ️‍
     
  5. Lin1

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2015
    Messages:
    1,336
    Likes Received:
    531
    Location:
    somewhere over the rainbow
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I think you have to let go of the pressure you are putting on yourself.

    150lbs for 5ft7 isn't overweight by any means. And even if it was there is something MUCH sexier and attractive than abs and a skinny body and it is CONFIDENCE. Once you are confident in yourself and what you can bring others/the world (which goes behind a nice body) then it doesn't matter if you are 200lbs or 100, because people will be attracted to your confidence. As time goes on age will take its toll on your body anyway and the more comfortable you are with the person you are, the less it will matter.

    Don't focus on your weight or lack of abs. Focus on the stuff you like about yourself, build your confidence up by writing three things you like about yourself (not just your body) and repeat them to yourself throughout the day because those are the things that will attract people and instead of focusing on the fat you still have on your body focus on the one you have lost already.

    Body positivity is about focusing on the positives of things. It's all about seeing the glass half full rather than half empty.


    Good luck x
     
  6. Sebby45

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2015
    Messages:
    710
    Likes Received:
    58
    Location:
    The Black Order
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    That is good advice, and something I needed to hear too. Don't push yourself or you'll fall into eating disordered behavior. Be kind to yourself. :slight_smile:
     
  7. Mihael

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2015
    Messages:
    3,049
    Likes Received:
    704
    Location:
    Europe
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Being a vegetarian makes people either bony or chubby. It might be unhealthy.

    Do you like sport? If you don't like it, exersicing might be difficult. And maybe not the look you want to go for.

    Then again, I have no clue, I'm beginning my sports career soon, and exercise a lot and stuggle to take in enough calories and other nutrients. I don't really think our bodies are tuned for sedentary lifestyle we lead in 21st century, that's why so many people get fat.

    ... and Ash is right, I'm said to be handsome (well, a handsome woman but still), and I always did a lot of sport since childhood, and now I will be competing in sports so it does take a lot of training, intense training, and it takes years.

    Not everyone has to be like that, though. You have to like sport to do it so much. I love it. Maybe... you can have different advantages and a different image? Take care of yourself in a way you enjoy and you'll feel and look a lot better :slight_smile:

    Linning said some clever things as well.