Hey folks. I was wondering if somebody who may have struggled between identifying as non-binary or as a woman could maybe help me understand things better. I know that I want to take estrogen, but I still have a desire to be androgynous, a lot of characters i really relate to are male but have very androgynous or feminine looks. I was just curious how to figure things out and not make myself so stressed, i often feel so worried that i won’t ever be able to figure it out, or i’ll somehow choose the wrong thing.
I have only identified as female, I do have nonbinary friends though. Things to consider It does take time to get to where you can take HRT and you have to go through a therapist first. They can help you with some issues. You can experiment with names, pronouns and presentation without serious risk as none of those things are permanent and would be easy to change back. If you do start estrogen it takes quite a bit of time for major changes to occur and you can stop if you decide that you are going too far past the androgynous presentation that you wish. If you do stop HRT your body will naturally reverse some of the changes - any breast tissue that grows will remain but the fat distribution will start to reduce again part of which will reduce breast size and the body fat distribution will go back to more masculine.
I agree with what @QuietPeace has said. Presentation and pronouns are things that can be easily changed and can give you the chance to explore more. I would not suggest hormones until you are more sure of how you identify. I would also suggest seeing if there are any resources in your area. Finding a therapist that has experience in gender identity issues can be hard sometimes. Plus, if there are resources in your area you may be able to speak with others feeling similar to you or who have felt similar to you at some point.
