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Straight Boy Kissed Me...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by riley02, Mar 31, 2019.

  1. riley02

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    so last night I was at a little get together with a couple of my friends. We were drinking, maybe a lot, maybe splitting a fifth of vodka 2 ways. Towards the end of the night I asked my friend if he wanted to shotgun my vape, where I blow it in his mouth and he sucks it in. He goes “I don’t know what that is” and so I say “I’ll show you” and then I lean in and he kisses me. This happened more than once that night. The next morning I dropped him off at home and he texted me and was like “did I do anything stupid last night?” And I told him what happened and he claims he didn’t remember. I believe him when he says this because he spent the whole night throwing up but I still don’t know what this means about his sexuality. I should also note if you’ve read any of my past posts this is the same boy who has sent me nudes on more than one occasion. I asked him if he was even slightly bicurious and he told me no so I don’t know what to do at this point. Thanks in advance for responses.
     
  2. Chip

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    So... it is pretty likely that he isn't completely straight. Guys who are 100% straight don't send nudes to other guys, nor do they repeatedly kiss guys (drunk or sober.)

    That said... it is quite possible that he hasn't even begun to accept this himself (he could be completely unaware, or he could be in denial.) And as to what "this" is that he has to accept... only he can know that. He might be a Kinsey 1, or he might be a full-blast poofter. :slight_smile: I would also suspect that he probably does have some knowledge of what he did; it is my contention that the majority of the people who claim alcoholic blackouts are really leveraging a social contract that we're not responsible for what we do when drunk as a justification for getting away with a lot of shit we'd never otherwise do.

    So the only thing you can do at this point is take him at his word. Be respectful, don't push any ideas on him or try to get him to "see the light"; most likely all that will do is push him further in the closet (assuming that he's actually in the closet.) And absolutely I would not under any circumstances have any sort of sexual interaction with him while he's even slightly buzzed; for one, it's rape if the person can't legally consent, and anyone who is inebriated can't legally consent. For another, it's just a shitty thing to do, especially to someone who is just coming to terms that they might not be straight. I'd even be cautious about engaging in sex with him if he's all for it. If that opportunity comes up, have a (sober) conversation and make sure he's comfortable and ready.

    I know that probably isn't what you want to hear. That said, I think if you were in the same situation, you'd want to be treated the same way.

    One other tangentially-related piece: there's relatively new research that shows that the only people who experience alcoholic blackouts are the ones who are genetically predisposed to alcohol addiction. In general, people who drink a ton of alcohol, but don't have the genetic predisposition don't have blackouts. They'll still get totally shitfaced, but they'll remember at least some of what went on. So I always try to warn people that if you're having blackouts... you are at enormous risk (better than 50%) of becoming an alcoholic. For those interested, that data is quoted in Inaba's "Uppers, Downers, All-Arounders", one of the widely recognized textbooks for substance use disorder treatment. I pass this on only because... while most people don't listen until it's too late, a few do get the message and make the decision to save themselves a lifetime of unhappiness.
     
  3. riley02

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    Yeah i definey stopped him when he was kissing me because I knew that it was wrong to use him like that. I’ve definetly had my share of abuse. But what do you mean when you say he is a Kinsey 1 or full blast poofter. I’m not familiar with those terms. But I think your right I do believe has has some memory of what happened because he told me the last thing he remembered and it was like an hour before he actually kissed me.
     
  4. Humbly Me

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    Kinsey 1 (for a male) is mostly attracted to females. Poofter is a slang that is typically used quite offensively towards gay males and based on a stereotype surrounding anal sex.

    Did you make sure he knew that you were into his kiss even though you stopped it because he was drunk?
     
  5. riley02

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    I don’t know if I made it 100% clear about being down for the kiss but we definetly talked about it. I even asked him if kissing me meant he was even a little bit bicurious and all he said was “no” and I left it at that because I didn’t want to push him. But since then I’ve noticed we have been making a lot more eye contact and I don’t know if I’m just telling my self it because I want it to be true or if it’s actually happen but I get a sense that he’s been looking at me a lot more often. Especially since the last couple days have been testing for the juniors so he’s been sitting behind me all day. Also I don’t know if he’s just a touchy person but he’s also been grabbing my knee a lot more often but that could also be because he knows it’s my ticklish spot. And apparently today my friend was in his class and they were watching a movie. Apparently he said he would go gay for one of the actors so again I don’t know if that’s just him being funny or him trying to make a hint.