Does anyone here have any experience interacting with or befriending straight males as a naturally effeminate male? Is it even possible without a ton of hassle and ridicule? I'm more interested in hearing from other people in the UK, since that's the culture I live in. Although if your from a different culture, your input is still welcome. Personally, I don't try to live up to stereotypes, however, being "masculine enough" doesn't seem to come naturally to me. In most social situations involving other males my go to method of coping is to just pretend I'm someone else and hope to god they don't sus me out. Which feels horrible and fake. I've used this coping method since I was at least 12 and now it's almost second nature to me. This is especially the case with males I don't know that well.
Just to clarify I don't absorb much "gay culture" and I don't "act gay"... I'm just naturally un-masculine which is perceived as soft or feminine. I don't say stereotypically "gay" things or anything that could alienate more masculine men but many masculine behaviors are alien to my natural self. I hope that makes sense.
effeminate male describes like 20% of the straight guys at my university and they definitely have many straight friends. If anything most of the masculine guys seem to like them more because they're energetic and make conversations more interesting than the usual 'bro talk' about football and fraternities which gets old within minutes. It seems to be much more of an issue for people like 35 and older, but the younger generations don't seem to mind feminine qualities nearly as much from what I've seen.
Hate to break it to you, but you might be more feminine that you like to admit. And that is okay, but it won't be to other people until its okay with you. I'm a feminine guy. You will know I'm gay just from talking to me. I have no problems interacting with other straight men at work or anywhere else because they understand that me being feminine isn't a bad thing. If they do think so, they at least have enough sense to not dare say anything to me. Stop trying to damn hard to achieve this arbitrary notion of "masculine enough". You will never be naturally masculine enough for some people and that is okay too
Many straight men are a lot more accepting towards guys who are feminine/obviously gay these days. They respect feminine guys for being who they are instead of trying to appear burly and macho. Trying to come across as macho is becoming less popular these days, I think. That's how it seems in my part of the UK, any way. And like Smurf said, even if some straight men are uncomfortable with guys who speak and act effeminately, that doesn't mean they are likely to attack you or criticize you for it, because that's a hate crime, and many straight men won't cross that line.
