Hi everyone, I haven't posted on here for quite some time. I am mostly out to everyone and have been for a few years now. I have been dating, embracing myself as a queer person and have no problem telling new people that I meet that I am gay. There are a few close friends however that I still haven't told and some of my extended family who I haven't told either. This is mainly because with friends they were not living in the same place as me so I kind of forgot to and also they live quite traditional lives so I guess I am a wee bit worried about their judgements. I also have not told some extended family because to be frank I couldn't be bothered. Coming out is emotionally exhausting and I know a lot of people so I just eventually got a bit pee'd off and thought - why should I? They don't need to tell me they are heterosexual- and I couldn't be bothered with them reacting to how late I came out (in my 30's) and I kind of know one of them definitely will react like this because she is that kind of person, so I just put a lid on it around them even though we are quite close. Anyway, I am now in this position where I have an opportunity to participate in some online Pride celebrations where I would be performing. I really want to participate in this but part of me is thinking not to do it even though it would be an amazing opportunity, only for the reason that all these people would find out. I know it's really terrible and I should just be free and do what I want but I know that if I do it I will have to advertise on social media, my friends and family will find out and I don't know why I still feel uncomfortable about that these people knowing. I guess it's because all of these people are very heterosexual. They mostly hang around in heterosexual circles. I am in fact the only cousin (out of my many cousins) who is LGBT+ (as far as I know)... I don't know why but I have a real bee in my bonnet about taking so long to realise I was gay and accepting it ( I started coming out early to mid 30's). I've even heard a few close family and friends commenting on that fact which was also hurtful to me. I know I'm ridiculous focussing on this. I think also because of the current situation with lockdown etc I have been thinking about it too much and it has been getting me down. I wish I could just be strong and not give a dam what people think and just let people think what they want but it's still affecting me and getting me down.