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Staying friends with an ex

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by BudderMC, Feb 24, 2017.

  1. BudderMC

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    Hey folks,

    Earlier this week, my ex and I broke up. In a turn of events from when things started (http://emptyclosets.com/forum/family-friends-relationships/222804-genuine-feelings.html), it turns out that he never felt sparks to start, and didn't either but they grew a bit over time. Anyways, it started out with me feeling blindsided, and after a couple days and us talking about it (and him being in my shoes for his last breakup) it's a little more mutual now.

    We're both very happy to have met each other and in a non-cliché way genuinely want to stay good friends for a long time. I feel like I'm currently trying to reconcile between him having been my boyfriend and him being a close friend, because I really do want to stay friends but I'm worried it'll make things more painful in the long run. And I definitely don't want to resent him at all because he's a wonderful person.

    We've talked/texted a couple times in the few days since the breakup, mostly to check in and make sure the other person is okay, but we're going to give it at least a week or so before we hang out or anything like that.

    Anyone have insight on how to make this work?
     
  2. Jacob D

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    A week is a good break for you. It might give you some time to think things over. In the end it's up to you if you want to remain friends. Good luck.
     
  3. Stewie

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    I say a week or 2 before you guys try to hangout, you guys were together 4ish months?, as long as there isn't going to be any jealousy or lingering feelings from either of you there's no reason you shouldnt be able to stay friends. I was hoping to stay "friends" or at least stay in contact with my recent ex but it's already become clear he still has feelings for me... so I'm going to stay distanced but hopeful.
     
  4. Lexington

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    You're both on the same page, so I don't see any obstacle to remaining friends. The only possible issue is if either of you DO start feeling attraction towards each other, or if either of you develop some jealous feelings once the other starts dating again.

    Lex
     
  5. Zen fix

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    Sounds good but give yourself some time before jumping into the friend zone. Be friends on paper right now and in a few months to a year then maybe you can hang out.