First of all to clarify, coming out is not an option in my country. And now I just seem to feel this weird anger around people I have a crush on. Mind, I'm not angry when I'm with them, but just something about them makes me angry after I have to spend time with them. People I've been friends with that I no longer talk to because of this. And it's not just restricted to people I think look good. Even normal people piss me off, I just have this weird feeling that they have everything they want, or at least they'll get it and I'll be alone. I don't see a way out and I'm getting angrier and angrier. But I don't want to, it hurts my head, but God, it makes me angry. Yet angry at what, I wonder? They can't help being straight, some might not even be straight, but I'm still angry at the world. I don't get it. And I hate this feeling of helplessness. It just gets me down, and it's like they're mocking me with their lives. I can't go to a psychiatrist here, but I think I'm finally going mad. But then at times, I'm not sure, am I?