Starting therapy tomorrow!

Tomorrows a big day. I’m starting with a new therapist. I’m incredibly nervous, and I’m fighting the nagging inner voice that’s in an absolute panic about peeking my head out of my closet. I know the dangers inside the closet, and they suck, but I don’t know what to expect out there. I have to keep reminding myself of what I know every line of thinking will conclude with, that my depression can’t go away without addressing my dysphoria and gender identity. I can’t be or do what I want if I’m depressed, so that’s that. I can’t just keep pretending that I’m depressed for every possible reason except my gender. I’m doing this and I’m so scared

 

Thanks for that. I’ve been in therapy before and it’s always been great. It’s t he idea of coming out to a stranger over a video call that turns my stomach in knots. I’ve been going to insane lengths my whole life to keep my gender identity a secret, convincing myself that being outed means death (I know, I know). So telling someone feels like an incredibly dangerous and exposing act. I know it will benefit me, but it’s a lot of fear to get over.

edit: I’ve only discussed gender with a therapist once before, but couldn’t continue with her due to scheduling issues. This is basically new to me