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SOS Crushing on someone...again

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by starmotive, Dec 6, 2019.

  1. starmotive

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    Someone please help me. I was crushing on someone that I have a professional relationship with. And with whom any form of interaction outside of professionally could be seen as illegal. (No one's underage, don't worry). I thought I had finally gotten over my feelings for her. But then she was so nice to me the other day and I've been sent for a spiral again.

    I know that nothing could ever happen romantically between us, mainly because ILLEGAL and also the age difference. But she's genuinely someone I would have liked to be friends with, had we met in another life?? And I wish we could have more interactions outside of the professional setting?? Nothing 'really' special happened, but just the fact that she listened to me when I was in distress and supported me/provided feedback, I'm so, in love with her. Tell me, why is my brain so dumb like this...
     
  2. Dreamsexul

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    Human brains do that. I think it happens to most people, just most don't admit it or do anything about it. Normal and natural. But not helpful.

    You know already what you have to do, of course.

    Realise it's just a fantasy built up in your head - there's nothing really there. She was just nice to you, nothing else. There's a professional ethics barrier, a legal issue, and an age gap. It ain't gonna happen, and if you do anything it'll be disastrous. You have to rationalise it, put it in a mental box, and move on. You can enjoy the fantasy if you want, but not if it ends up hurting you.

    Good luck. :slight_smile:
     
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  3. silverhalo

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    Hey that is tough. The brain is a really great thing and its own worst enemy at times. Try and keep yourself busy as much as possible and keep any interactions with her as minimal as possible as tempting as it might be. Time is a good healer.
     
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  4. starmotive

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    *big sigh* Thanks for the help y'all. It's just really hard to keep feelings in a box sometimes, especially when I've spent my whole life doing it and I've only recently started to open those boxes up lol
     
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  5. silverhalo

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    Opening boxes which have been closed for a while can be difficult and scary. Sometimes when you open the box it is difficult or impossible to get everything to go back in where it came from. In the long term this is normally a good thing because it makes you sort through it and decide what you need, what you dont need and what to do with everything but in the immediate it can be annoying frustrating and difficult to deal with. We are always here if you want to talk about it.
     
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  6. starmotive

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    Thank you. Everyone on here is always so supportive. It means a lot that people I've never met care about me.
     
    #6 starmotive, Dec 8, 2019
    Last edited: Dec 8, 2019
  7. starmotive

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    Hey y'all, bringing this back around again. I'll be seeing the person in question this week and it's been all I can think about during the holidays. I'm excited to see her but at the same time I know this is so bad for me mentally... Seeing as they are a mental health professional, would it be wise to talk to her about it and see if she can help me figure out how to deal with this? Or should I just try to shove it in a box and shut up. I've gotten to the point where it's just ridiculous. Days and sometimes weeks go by where all I think about is how when I am in my appointment, I am happy. It's one of the only places where I can find it in me to smile and even some days to laugh.
     
  8. silverhalo

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    When you say professional relationship, are you colleagues or something else?
     
  9. starmotive

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    Lol, my psychiatrist.
    (Although I do work in the health field too and I do interact with doctors on a daily basis)
     
  10. silverhalo

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    I did wonder about that. I know this probably isnt what you want to hear but I think you probably need a referral to a new psychiatrist. It is good to look forward to your appointments but not because you are crushing on her. I am not sure it is something she would be able to help you with but I cant see that continuing will actually help you with the stuff you went to see her about in the first instance.
     
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