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Social transition - what to prepare for, what to keep in mind?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by i am just me, Jun 13, 2018.

  1. i am just me

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    Hi :slight_smile:
    after more than a year of soul searching and inner debates about what to do regarding my gender identity, I have finally started to come out to more people and have asked some friends to refer to me using my chosen name and pronouns. That felt great and it has convinced me to socially transition in all the other areas of my life. By now, I've got the next few steps planned out (coming out to my family, other friends, writing an email telling other groups of friends and the voluntary organization I work with that I am nonbinary and want to be referred to by a different name and different pronouns). Things seem much more real and concrete than they ever have before and this time I know I won't chicken out like I did so many times in the past.

    The thing is that I can try to guess what reactions I have to prepare for, but I am really anxious that I will be surprised by negative or unexpected reactions and won't know how to deal with them. That's why I've got the following questions: What did you wish you knew before starting social transition? Which reactions or events took you by surprise and how did you cope with them? What do I need to be prepared for when socially transitioning?

    Besides, I really don't know how to deal with situations when I am with people who know about my identity and call me Noah and there are other ones present who don't because I don't have their direct contact details or the missed out on the information for some other reasons. How did you handle those situations?
     
    #1 i am just me, Jun 13, 2018
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2018
  2. Crisalide

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    It happens to me all the time hahah. I send them a brief message in private saying "I know you heard something weird yesterday, well, now my pronouns/name are this" if I have their number. Or I talk with the ones who changed pronouns in front of them, so they hear the right pronouns and will use them.

    I didn't have negative reactions yet. A friend still uses the old name, but I think it's a matter of time. My parents use it too, but that's because they're in denial. Usually young people are accepting or use the right name, if not for acceptance, for going with the flow. Strangers don't care. Relatives are the real issue; they're attached to the old image of you in their head.
    Patience is the key...
     
  3. i am just me

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    Did you get a lot of questions regarding your identity when you transitioned socially? I feel a bit insecure about having to explain who I am over and over again.
     
  4. Mihael

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    Follow your gut feeling. It will not guide you wrong.
    My advice would be don't rush with coming out at work / school.
    Begin with friends and let it roll from then on. It will keep rolling on its own.
     
  5. Crisalide

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    Only by near friends, and it wasn't heavy to answer. Not an interrogation.