Ok so, I'm not trying to sound like a wuss or whatever, I'm just losing my mind rn First things first. I have too many pets to take care of. I have three fish, one is blind, 2 more fish on the way in the mail, and shrimp. I also have a old dog with arthritis, and a half dead gecko who went missing for two days and refuses to eat. I dont have the time nor the money to take care of the properly, yet here they are. I chose to keep a fake friend who always drags me down with her over real friends who I pushed away because I can't handle seeing them. My parents and I constantly argue, and they think I'm insane and mentally unstable, therefore not ready to go back to school. Maybe I am, who knows, but I can't spend any longer with them in this stupid house. I feel like a bomb, triggered by the smallest things. I can't control my emotions, there always over the top. I had to physically restrain myself from hitting my mom the other day. My grades are failing because my 15 year old mind can't comprehend college level things, and my OCD won't let me touch any of the school things, so my work is never done. Im a shell of who I used to be. I hate the fact that no matter how hard I try to shut the world out, I need someone because I can't control myself. I hate the fact that I'm constantly lying and always make the wrong decision. I hate that I cried myself to sleep last night because I saw some stupid video about OCD. I hate that I can't touch the f*cking door handle without flipping out and having a breakdown. And I really, really hate the fact that I still hurt over the girl who broke my heart. I decided that it would be a good time to come out. So, I did. I sent a text to a girl two grades above me. We hardly ever see each other, but she was there for me when I needed her. Then I panicked and powered my phone off, hid it, and ran to my room. I don't want to see her response, but yet Im going to have to, because I need to delete the texts before my lovely mother gets home. Now I'm sitting on the floor slightly panicking, and I don't know what to do ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Thanks for anyone who wasted there time reading this, have a nice day.
