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So, who else has had to awkwardly out themselves to the doctor?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by Oddsocks, Sep 2, 2015.

  1. Oddsocks

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    Honestly, I've had to do it more times than I'd like. Yay for the topic of sexual health!

    I've been asked, oddly specifically, if I use condoms (not 'protection' but 'condoms'), followed by being asked if I use any form of birth control...and then got a look of barely-concealed disbelief at my double 'no'. In the name of making sure she didn't think me hideously irresponsible and playing a game of pregnancy roulette, I kind of felt like I ought to clarify the situation, you know?

    (Most commonly, I've had doctors refer specifically to my 'boyfriend' after I confirmed that I had a 'partner'. Personally I'm baffled. I look like a lesbian stereotype. You can see my gay from space. I just don't want to have to bring it up at the doctor's if I don't need to!)

    Who else has been in this situation? Come forth and share your awkward outing-yourself-to-the-doctor stories and gripe with me about how neutral language would save us all from the awkwardness.
     
  2. Alex Vause

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    I came out to my psychiatrist.

    He was asking me about my social life to make sure I'm "developing normally as a young woman."

    "Do you have a boyfriend?" He asked. He sounded so nonchalant, but I knew this was a test. Everything psychiatrists say is a test.

    I said no. I was failing the test already.

    "Is there a boy you have a crush on?"

    I shook my head. Something compelled me to tell him the truth.

    "You see boys walking down the street or at school? You don't think they are cute?"

    I simply replied "Nope."

    He paused, looking at me, squinting just a bit. He tilted his head slightly. He uttered two words.

    "Any girls?"

    I could feel my face flushing. He'd caught me rainbow-handed, if there is such a thing.

    I nodded.

    He asked more questions, wanting to know about the specific girl currently in my life, "What's her name?" and "Where'd you meet?". These were the sort of questions that if your best friend asked you at a sleepover, you'd giggle and get all doe eyed. But my doctor isn't my best friend, so I didn't do those things. I simply answered him, trying to process the fact that I had in fact just come out to one more person.

    I spent the rest of the day beating myself up over the fact that I should've just lied. I wondered if he would put this on my medical records and if one day a very conservative ER nurse might see it and try to poison me.

    In retrospect, I think I made the right decision. I told one more person. I made things a little easier on myself for the next time I have to come out, because I've had more practice. I've yet to encounter the aforementioned conservative ER nurse, so until then, I'm counting this as a win in my book.
     
  3. kyfry

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    When I was in the hospital once my mom had mentioned to him that I was gay. He and I had a conversation about it later. I had to explain to him about me being asexual as well and he had no clue as to what it even was, even though he was gay himself. Awkward.
     
  4. doinitagain

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    I love this!
     
  5. Blue787Bunny

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    I've heard this time and time again how patients seeing their psychiatrist find the questions too personal and hence are are put unto an uncomfortable spotlight worse some choose to lie. But it shouldn't be, the Psychiatrist's questions are personal because he or she is trying to obtain an abstract of your Personal History. This includes Social History which in turn includes Sexual Preference. Why do they need to know this information? all these adds up to form you Medical History which plays an important role when it comes to figuring out a diagnosis when it comes to that. We do not diagnose a disease based only on signs and symptoms per se but we also use the Medical History as a reference to confirm our hypothetical diagnosis and in other cases to cancel out our differential diagnosis. In Psychiatry your social history also plays a role because certain life changes may contribute to subconscious stress or triggers which in turn may lead to the development of a disorder.

    In general not only in Psychiatry, Doctors ask your Sexual Preference because certain sexual preference and practices may contribute to higher rates of morbidity to certain illnesses/diseases.

    The reason we see a Psychiatrist or a Doctor who is not part of our personal lives. Well at least I assume that's why you don't trust him/her enough to tell everything. Is because we can freely express ourselves without repercussions in our personal lives. Having a "stranger" to talk to, you can say everything, you can tell all your deepest darkest secrets, you can tell all your issues and angst. But the moment you leave the room, you leave everything there. The Doctor isn't gonna follow you home and tell everyone what you told him/her. He or she isn't gonna tell your mom that you said you hated her (as an example).

    Now imagine having your mom, dad, brother, sister, uncle, aunt or cousins as a Psychiatrist. The moment you leave that room he or she brings that information home with him/her. She or he brings it when she/he visits you house, talks to your parent, or anyone in your life. He or she now knows the darkest secrets of your family. Knowing your issues and knowing the person you have issues with. He or she is now tempted to step in and tell what you told him or her. Imagine that scenario playing out all day everyday, during visits, during church, during family holidays.

    As for your fear of your personal information spreading round the hospital personnel. The only information that "ER Nurse" is gonna access is the information needed for your case (to be treated). He or she isn't gonna access information which isn't pertinent to the case.
     
    #5 Blue787Bunny, Sep 3, 2015
    Last edited: Sep 3, 2015
  6. Kellian

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    I would probably not handled those questions as well as you. ^-^; I would be somewhere between "I don't want to be here so I'm going to make you feel my pain." and "Go away you brain washing mind reader that has been sent to find my weaknesses so your kind can get rid of me." I applaud you for being so calm! :eusa_clap
     
  7. Hawkheart

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    Yes, to a paediatrician. It was for mental health related things, and they asked something like "are you attracted to girls or boys?" Awkwardly, I just said "both..." :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  8. Kaiser

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    To a few therapists, yes. But if I wanted to make progress, it had to be done.

    It tends to go like this:

    Them: So, what brings you here today?
    Me: ... I'm a woman.
    Them: *rapid blinking* Excuse me?
    Me: ... I'm transgender.
    Them: *smile starts to form...
    Me: *poker face...*
    Them: *starts to laugh*
    Me: *death stare*
    Them: *immediately stops* Oookay, then. Let's---

    It was a bit tough at first, but now it is just annoying. I understand why people are caught totally off guard, or how they look at me and think, holy shit, you're a woman?