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So upset

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Ayla22x, Oct 25, 2021.

  1. Ayla22x

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    i am so confused because i got told that because i like both genders that i cant be Bi? but i like both genders and that has caused me some anxiety as i know what gender i am and why are people choosing me gender? like what. I like men and women and why do they want to change that :sweat:

    Am I a disappointment to them? are they judging me for it? I cant open up to anyone because all i do is get judged for trying to make myself feel positive but get a load of crap for it!:sleepy::weary::weary:
     
  2. Ayla22x

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    can anyone help ;(
     
  3. FireFox

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    Whether you're a disappointment to them is their problem and not yours, you are who you are and no one else on this Earth has any right to tell you otherwise. People will be disappointed, people will judge because at the end of the day people (exceptions to the rule) are judgemental pieces of shit.

    Be who you are, love yourself, accept yourself and live how you want to live.
     
    #3 FireFox, Oct 25, 2021
    Last edited: Oct 25, 2021
  4. Ayla22x

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    that seems so true and i have just earlier accepted myself even when people dont like what i am and i am not listening to them as they are putting me down and making me upset about my gender.
     
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  5. PatrickUK

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    People say all sorts of things and much of what they say comes from a place of personal insecurity, petty mindedness or poor information. If you are attracted to men and women and feel comfortable with the bisexual label nobody can tell you otherwise.
     
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  6. Ayla22x

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    thank you. I try not to listen as it puts me down and in a bad place as i dont know then why they were judging or hating me for being Bi as i am not against anyone. hope your well thank you for the reply
     
  7. tidalpool127

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    Liking both genders is literally the definition of bisexuality. If friends reject you they weren't really your friends. Find new ones(I know this can be hard) who accept you as you are. If family rejects you...I know this one is hard. I was lucky that my father and brother were both supportive right off the bat when I came out as gay. It took my mother several years to come around though. In the end, two things changed her mind. One, I showed her that I was willing to cut her out of my life if she could not stop the homophobic attacks on me, as much as I wanted her approval. Two, when I started dating my now husband, she saw me go from being a young man who had been depressed and dejected looking since I was 8 to a young man who was actually happy. She realized that being myself was the only way I was going to be happy. She's now very supportive of my husband and I. So if you just came out recently, sometimes they need time to process. Most parents just want their kids to be happy and healthy, I can't promise anything but sometimes if they realize you have to be your true self in order to be happy and healthy, they'll come around.
     
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  8. Ayla22x

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    hey
    hey thank you for the reply, i came out a yr ago when me and my girlfriend were together we arent anymore she ( TW abused me ) and shes locked away but i am trying to find friends who wont judge me cus its hard finding friends who arent judgemental. Hugs
     
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  9. tidalpool127

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    Well, you have people who understand what you are going through and who will support you on here. Stay true to yourself, I know this is a cliche but it really does get better.
     
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  10. Ayla22x

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    i have you guys who i can support and get support so i am so pleased thank you very much!
     
  11. BiGemini87

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    Hello, Ayla. Can you tell us a bit more about how they're putting you down? The fact that you like both men and women certainly indicates that you're bisexual, so I'm not sure why anyone is telling you that you can't be bi--considering that is what bisexuality is at its very core.

    Have they been putting you down because you're bi and they have preconceived notions regarding negative stereotypes?

    At the end of the day, they have no power over you or what label you choose. You are who you are, you like who you like--there is no shame in that. :slight_smile:
     
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  12. Ayla22x

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    hi,
    My friend group their all straight and i am the only one who is Bi and they take the mick and they slur and say horrible things to me that make me go home and cry because i dont feel loved like they dont support me being Bi. I haven't even been able to come out because of the reaction i got from them make me think oh shit others might be horrible and slur things too.
     
  13. BiGemini87

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    I'm so sorry to hear that. These people are quite clearly not your friends if they treat you this way. Is there an LGBT support group at your school, or anything? Perhaps a local PFlag chapter? I think the first thing you ought to do is avoid these so-called friends, because real friends would be supportive of who you are and all that comes with it. Yeah, sometimes friends have to be hard on each other, sometimes friends make jokes--but this doesn't sound like that. It sounds to me like they're being unnecessarily hostile towards you, and you don't deserve that.
     
  14. Ayla22x

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    I am at uni part time mainly online due to my back surgery but i try to get friends round but sadly I am stuck because I am isolated and I joined here so i feel a little better but they made me feel not welcome into this world which has made me feel not wanted. But, I have told them it was hard telling them but i told them i dislike the way your making me feel like crap your isolating me for my gender and sexuality which in this world should always be supported as any other person but i said i am no longer your friend due to it is not good for my health and you are so not putting me down! hugs
     
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  15. tidalpool127

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    Screw those people. Anyone who would call you slurs with the goal of making you cry are not your friends and are in my opinion not good people. Are you at college? If so, does your campus have a Gay-Straight Alliance? Despite the name, it is a support organization for all non-hetero orientations and for straight allies. I had a good one on my campus, but I only went to a few meetings because I was closeted in college. I know you say you are not out to many people, so I know joining something like that is scary. However, looking back I wish I had. It would be a space where you know everyone is either LGBTQ or is supportive of us. Just a suggestion.
     
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  16. Ayla22x

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    Hey,
    I am at uni part time online due to a problem with my back, thank you for being so lovely. I will check that out thank you! seems a decent thing too look at thank you!

    Ayla
     
  17. Chip

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    Wait, because you like both genders you can't be bi? That's basically the definition of bisexuality. If I am hearing you correctly, it sounds like these people are not friends. They're judgmental assholes.
     
    #17 Chip, Oct 25, 2021
    Last edited: Oct 25, 2021
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  18. Ayla22x

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    they kept bullying me because i came out Bi.
     
  19. Unsure77

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    I’m sorry that happened to you. Hopefully you can find some new friends in time who understand and appreciate who you really are better. You are valid the way you are, and you’re not alone. There are definitely more people like you here.
     
  20. Ayla22x

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    thanks