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So much anxiety.....

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Katchoo, Sep 7, 2016.

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  1. Katchoo

    Katchoo
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    Dont borrow trouble from the future. You will be ok. Focus on her and her funbags rather than yourself, lol. And, she would be nervous, too.

    ---------- Post added 20th Sep 2016 at 12:18 PM ----------

    Dont borrow trouble from the future. You will be ok. Focus on her and her funbags rather than yourself, lol. And, she would be nervous, too.
     
    #81 Katchoo, Sep 20, 2016
  2. BrookeVL

    BrookeVL
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    Ah yes. Though there's another part I'd also like to focus on....funbags can't have ALL the attention.:lol:
     
    #82 BrookeVL, Sep 20, 2016
  3. Katchoo

    Katchoo
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    I'm listening to queer-made podcasts about Enneagram personality types and also reading about my type (9) online. The more they talk, the more I'm like, you're describing my entire life!!!! Particularly aspects of not feeling loveable, having a lot if inertia, hard to get started, try to numb out a lot to feel better, feeling empty i side, not knowing myself and my own preferences, etc. Also, its explaining part of the conflict I have with my coworker L. Wow. Damn. This research will continue.
     
    #83 Katchoo, Sep 20, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 20, 2016
  4. BrookeVL

    BrookeVL
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    Katchoo, you'll have to link me to some of these podcasts and such you listen to.
     
    #84 BrookeVL, Sep 20, 2016
  5. Katchoo

    Katchoo
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    Screenshot_2016-09-21-01-04-41.jpg

    Screenshot_2016-09-21-01-04-51.jpg
     
    #85 Katchoo, Sep 20, 2016
  6. HappyGirlLucky

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    Katchoo, if you haven't already you should check out MBTI too. :slight_smile: It is kind of like your personality type while enneagram is your temperament. With both of those together you get a good idea of where your weaknesses lie and where you can improve. For example, I am an enneagram 9 as well and an MBTI ENFP. I somehow have a feeling you are some form of NF too, possibly even ENFP, based on how you write. :slight_smile:
     
    #86 HappyGirlLucky, Sep 21, 2016
  7. Katchoo

    Katchoo
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    We are the same types! High 5, ENFP Type 9 friend!!!!

    ---------- Post added 21st Sep 2016 at 04:01 PM ----------

    I slept kinda crappy last night. I had to leave the house at 630 to go to an IEP meeting. Blarg. I feel like crap,

    So, I decided I can see the school kids tomorrow. I didnt feel up to talking about the classmates who got in a terrible wreck. I decided to take an Ingress road trip. I explored some cemetaries trying to get unique locations for the game. I wound up lying on the ground between plots for a while, trying to nap. I occasionally got twitchy when ants bit me. Eventually, I felt rotten enough that I puked in the cemetary, careful not to puke directly on any of the dead. (It's like that sometimes when im really sleep deprived. My body just cant function til I get rest.) Then I stood up to walk back to the car and saw is sign in the ground that said "Area under video surveillance. Violators will be prosecuted." So, lol, now im wondering which rural georgia security guard is going to be confused about why I seem to be really drunk or detoxing from meth or whatever. Whoops.

    Anyway, I got panera chicken noodle soup and an apple, and im feeling sort of better. Gonna drive back in a bit so I can teach a first grader some social skills. Im excited to eat my free birthday scone later.
     
    #87 Katchoo, Sep 21, 2016
  8. BrookeVL

    BrookeVL
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    So today I learned, that hanging out with your trigger crush adds to anxiety, even if he's helping you pick out an outfit for a hot date with a girl....sigh.
     
    #88 BrookeVL, Sep 21, 2016
  9. Katchoo

    Katchoo
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    I see a lot of people use the phrase trigger crush, but I'm not really sure what that means. What do you mean by it?
     
    #89 Katchoo, Sep 22, 2016
  10. HappyGirlLucky

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    They are talking about the person of the same sex who made them realize they were gay or bi, the person who triggered them to start questioning. A lot of people have that but I didn't have one myself, I just figured it out after my ex and I broke up. I was already kind of questioning at the time and thought I might be bi, but then I went to a lesbian support group online and it didn't take me long after that to figure out I am actually really gay.

    Also, yass, high five fellow ENFP 9!!
     
    #90 HappyGirlLucky, Sep 22, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 22, 2016
  11. Katchoo

    Katchoo
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    Thank you!

    Also, has there been anything particular about learning about being an ENFP 9 ( sounds like a borg designation) that you have found helpful?
     
    #91 Katchoo, Sep 22, 2016
  12. HappyGirlLucky

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    Finding out I am an ENFP 9 borg has helped me a lot in general. Mostly just learning about how weird we are compared to most other people, which isn't really news anyway (who else goes from super serious discussions to 5-year old in a split second?). :lol: But you really need to read Heide Priebe's book on ENFPs (The Comprehensive ENFP Survival Guide) if you get a chance, it isn't very expensive and really gave me a lot of insight into both our strengths and weaknesses. It also has a section on how to work with every type, which I have found helpful in relating to people. Really, read this book at some point!
     
    #92 HappyGirlLucky, Sep 22, 2016
  13. Katchoo

    Katchoo
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    I shall put that book on the list. (Listmaking is a survival skill I have learned despite being an ENFP.)
     
    #93 Katchoo, Sep 22, 2016
  14. HappyGirlLucky

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    I need to learn to make lists too. But when I try I usually have the problem of adding too much to the list and then it becomes a huge chore and I end up ignoring it. :lol:

    By the way, the book touches on the enneagram in relation to ENFPs but leaves out us 9s, because we are a bit more rare. :/ But a lot of the stuff that applies to 7s applies to me at least as well, so it was still helpful. :slight_smile:
     
    #94 HappyGirlLucky, Sep 22, 2016
  15. Katchoo

    Katchoo
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    Huh.we're that weird? Maybe all tbe ENFP9s are lesbians then.
     
    #95 Katchoo, Sep 22, 2016
  16. BrookeVL

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    In my case, I was already questioning when I met him. He sealed the deal that I'm most definitely some form of bisexual. Maybe "trigger crush" isn't the right term for him. Still, I thought I was over him and we were just friends. Not true, I still like him. Even though he's a douche.

    Apparently I'm ENFP, even though I usually get something starting with an I when I take that....am I coming out of my shell?
     
    #96 BrookeVL, Sep 22, 2016
  17. Katchoo

    Katchoo
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    Maybe? They can shift a bit over time. I haven't taken a test or whatever for a while. When I was at my most depressed, I tested as an introvert, but that doesn't mean introverts are depressed. Just means I was. I used to test 100% P in my teens and early 20s and now that's much more moderate. I used to be a pretty strong N, and now I am much closer to the middle. I feel like maybe as I've gotten older I've learned to function in different ways and am less locked in to one mode? ENFP is definitely my default.

    Regarding E/I, I decided at one point that I'm basically a Small-Group-trovert. I really get my energy from people, but only friends and only a few at a time. I don't like crowds, and I'm not really outgoing with new people.
     
    #97 Katchoo, Sep 22, 2016
  18. HappyGirlLucky

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    In addition to what Katchoo said about testing as more I when depressed, ENFPs are the most introverted extroverts normally too. It is not uncommon for one to test as INFP only to figure out the test got them wrong when reading the actual profiles.

    Here are some of the "25 Struggles Only ENFPs Will Understand" part of the book I mentioned earlier:
    The final one really sums me up pretty well. :lol:
     
    #98 HappyGirlLucky, Sep 22, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 22, 2016
  19. Katchoo

    Katchoo
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    Yes, I really resonate with the first three of those.

    Ive also called myself a Home-trovert. I want to be with people, but I also want to be home, so if I can just get them to hang out at my house, that would be the best.

    Which is why I should get the dishes done....

    ---------- Post added 22nd Sep 2016 at 06:00 PM ----------

    Ive really struggled with productivity or frankly moving this week. A couple of nights ago I bareky slept, and today I slept most of the day.(Seeing all the clients tomorrow that I procrastinated may be hell.) I did some tarot for self reflection. Im going to write about it here on case I need to reflect on them later.

    The first spread. The problem is happiness, the feelz. (Yes.) I have going for me that I have had good advice and know what to do. The weakness is that I have trouble with the skills of concentration and following through. I need to harness my emotions instead of trying to suppress them and just keep starting again, as often as it takes.

    Second spread. I feel insecure generally and sometimes even jealous of coworkers, and that shuts me down. I need to connect with all of the emotions in order to get the energy to start again. I need to call up the power that's in me, nurture myself and that power, know that the truth is that I'm a badass unicorn. (Damn, should have used a lisa frank tarot deck so there coukd have litterally been a unicorn!) I need to reconnect with the really wonderful community of coworkers that I have rather than continuing to isolate myself until I feel "good enough".

    And, I assume, the first step towards all of that is putting on real pants. :slight_smile:

    ---------- Post added 22nd Sep 2016 at 06:15 PM ----------

    Oh, and all the Vessels cards made me think, am I dehydrated as part of the problem? Lol.
     
    #99 Katchoo, Sep 22, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 22, 2016
  20. BrookeVL

    BrookeVL
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    Yes, those actually fit me quite well! I think maybe I was mislabeled....apparently that happens a lot. Now if only biology had labelled me right.:lol:

    Happy, I'm glad your here. It's nice to have someone else posting in here....though I have to ask, is this a lesbian thread? Or does the fact that I'm still bi(regardless of actual gender) still preclude that? Am I being a dweeb?

    I'm being a dweeb.

    Plan for tonight. Relax until 8:30. Then do some math to get ready for my test, then finish my English paper.

    ---------- Post added 22nd Sep 2016 at 08:25 PM ----------

    Oh, and suddenly coming out as bi to my family seems like not a big deal.
     
    #100 BrookeVL, Sep 22, 2016
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