I've read a number of varying things about sex, and my conclusion is that sex is meant to be pleasurable for both partners. Well, here's my problem. My bf is selfless, my favorite thing about him. He tries very hard to pleasure me during sex, and make it enjoyable for me. Thing is, I'm doing the same for him, and yea, sex feels good, but it's not the pleasure I'm focused on. I'm focused on making him feel good. The same applies for him. So here we are, focusing so much on pleasuring the other, we don't enjoy it as much as online forums say we should. We've talked about this, but I can't bring myself to focus more on myself when I'm with him, because after all, he is doing something for me, so the least I can do is reward him for it. How do I stop this endless cycle? We've resorted to mostly just handjobs, as it's much easier to pleasure the other while being pleasured that way.