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So I broke up with my boyfriend of five years

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Miaplacidus, Nov 7, 2018.

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  1. Miaplacidus

    Miaplacidus
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    ...and I feel dead inside even though our relationship was very toxic to me.

    I felt unloved, and bored. He never paid too much attention to me; he would rather focus on his Instagram and wouldn't want to do anything together at all; the last time we did anything together was going to the movies last June.

    However -- once he realized that I really was breaking up with him, he hugged me and told me that he loved me and that he didn't want anyone else, and I had to be really strong; it was too little too late but that exactly was what I had been yearning about for the last few years. He insisted that we'd fix things and didn't want to go but I no longer wanted to listen (and feel guilty about that). I had to threaten to call security so that he'd leave me alone, as he wouldn't go -- a move I find unnecessarily cruel.

    So I think it's probably for the best -- but at the same time I still... love... him; or what he was years ago; I miss the boy who would pester me for attention (the man who ignored me, not so much). I don't know. It pains me to see that his things aren't here anymore.

    I'm not even thinking right, and I'm not drunk (I should be, maybe, but I'm not feeling like drinking straight scotch on a Wednesday night...)
     
    #1 Miaplacidus, Nov 7, 2018
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2018
  2. OnTheHighway

    OnTheHighway
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    A relationship takes more than love to work. The saying "love conquers all" sounds good in movies and in books, but is not reality. A relationship takes a combination of Love, dedication, and hard work. If the relationship was toxic, splitting up was the right thing to do.
     
    #2 OnTheHighway, Nov 8, 2018
    Emmareld likes this.
  3. Emmareld

    Emmareld
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    I was in a similar situation a long time ago, so I think I can relate a bit where you are coming from. The relationship was toxic by the sounds of it and it wasn't good for you from what you describe. Love is not just expressed through words but by action. His action made it clear that he just didn't feel as strongly, despite what he was saying in regards to wanting only you. It's gonna hurt for awhile and its understandable to love who he was, but things couldn't keep going on the way they were and by the sounds of it, it wasn't getting any better. It'll be alright in time, as overused that saying is, it will be.
     
    #3 Emmareld, Nov 8, 2018
  4. resu

    resu
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    Remember this is not your only chance at love, but also don't try to stop up your real emotions. As others said, time and distance will help. You might need a year or more to heal from the breakup.
     
    #4 resu, Nov 11, 2018
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