So another awkward question?

It kind sounds like you're stressing yourself out. Which isn't conducive to finding answers since stress can be a libido killer. Maybe you need to step back from this stuff for a bit? Destress maybe? Some TLC?

I have doubts about being bi, I've questioned it a lot, so I get it. I also had to take breaks from it. Abstraction is not as helpful as real life experiences. I'm starting to realize sexuality isn't this black and white, simple blanket. At least for me. I don't and won't feel the same about every man, woman, or non-binary person. So instead of trying to figure out the totality of such a complex and nuance thing, I'm trying to take it one step at a time.

You really dont have to have everything figured out. It's okay to not know or to be confused. It's okay to live life and let things be revealed.

 

Sounds like a good idea

Have any passive or relaxing activities you like? I like walks in the park or instrumental music.

If you can't get your mind off it, it's healthy to just distract yourself a bit. Things like games or reading help me.

You don't have to answer btw, take care ♡

 

Glad to hear it ♡

Eh, not really, but I am learning to take care of myself better which helps me to say more helpful things

 

What the others said about not having to figure it out all at once is true, but a common thing I've noticed with your posts is basically too much thinking and not enough acting. You ruminate on all this stuff alone for weeks/months wondering about how you'd feel about stuff instead of just going and trying it to know for sure how it felt. If you don't know whether kissing a guy or girl feels better, then going and kissing people to find out is a whole lot more useful than just thinking about it endlessly with no way to ever determine the answer due to having no experience to draw from.

It's so incredibly easy as a girl to have any experience you want to try just by using the popular dating app starting with T. Pretty much every girl gets multiple matches a day, every day, regardless of what they look like on there (using the straight version at least). You could find an attractive guy to try stuff with and see how it feels in literally one day, a guy on an app is never going to say no to a girl asking for any type of sexual stuff. Then you'd know for sure, and even if you hated it all, it was just a few hours of lost time with the benefit of not having to think about what you do and don't like ever again.

 

I found that confusing too. I now know I like being penetrated vagina wise and have got pleasure from it from a man or a woman. What is different for me with a woman is that I want sex as intimate as possible. So with a man I preferred it from behind, whereas with a woman I prefer to take it missionary style as I want to see her face and have fuller body contact. Over the years I have frequently fantasised about being a man and giving dick to a woman....but in a real scenario with my girlfriend I am not as into using a dildo on her....I like anything manual and like you only orgasm from fingers.

 

It is useful self knowledge to have experience of both sex with a man and a woman. If I were 20 again I would have safe sex with more people to discover what my preferences were. The biggest mistake I made was not to explore my sexuality back then.

 

Do you want to/are you having sex with different people now? I have the ability to do it, as I’m currently separated from my wife, but have great fears around being sexual with guys. I’ve gone on dates, but just haven’t felt like I can take the next step.

 

I have a girlfriend now. Before that I was in unexpressed love with another female. I glimpsed my true sexuality with the latter especially in that I saw that I had the capacity to be soft and tender with a partner and feel it to the bones.....it was so very very painful to finally join the dots. Then I met my girlfriend online and the physical stuff was intuitive. I am not seeing lots of people: just the one. I don't think that's what it's about for me with a woman. I need an emotional as well as physical connection I think really.

 

You here that women can fake orgasms etc BUT I knew everytime my ex wife orgasmed, there was no faking that....

 

Hey @Love4Ever, it looks like you've been doing some serious thinking so make sure you take care of yourself and don't get trapped in your own head. I'm an over-thinker so know what it's like! Just sharing something that my straight female friends said once (I can't remember how it came about but I think it as a group discussion one night at college on early sexual experiences or something) which may not apply to you at all but I thought it was interesting. They said that they didn't start being attracted to *penises* until after they'd started having sex with guys and had come to associate them with pleasure - before then, they weren't repulsed by them but they thought they weren't that attractive-looking. Not the same thing at all as whether they were attracted to men - they never questioned that - but I remember registering it at the time and thinking that maybe I would be into guys once I tried it (at that time I thought I might be some odd kind of asexual because I wasn't attracted to any men)!! Clearly I had got the wrong end of the stick (pardon the pun) at the time re. confusing attraction to males with attraction to penises but it was interesting for me to learn that even straight women are not necessarily inherently attracted to the male penis as an object at the beginning.

 

It is not only about a person's aesthetic appeal. Both men and women can be well built. It is also about who you connect with emotionally and whose person you feel most innate desire for. Destin's description is good as it conveys what sexual desire feels like. I often want my girlfriend in an all consuming way that I have never experienced before.