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Small Victories

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Kasey, Dec 11, 2014.

  1. AndySays

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    Today I was just coming out of the store with my boyfriend and we held the door open for an old couple. The man smiled at us and said to the woman: "Oh, look at those nice young boys... um, I mean, boy! And such a nice girl, too." And he looked at me awkwardly, feeling embarrassed because he thought he had misgendered me and hoping I didn't notice. I couldn't believe I had passed for a moment and even though the man "corrected" himself, it still felt very good. For a moment he thought I was a guy, which is a great progress. This is the third time I manage to pass, so I feel kind of proud.

    I also bound for the first time today and I really felt kind of satisfied when I looked in the mirror.

    Yes, it was a great day, indeed.
     
  2. heandsheisme

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    Great job!

    I had my small victory today going out as Alexis for the first time. I was not dressed or anything (I am still working on passing) but I went out with a friend and she and I had such a great time shopping together. I got some jewelry and my first nail polish set! It was so liberating, being out with someone who saw me as a woman.
     
  3. BobbyFabulous

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    I told my best friend today that I was gender fluid and she said she basically knew and was waiting for me to tell her. Then said we could go shopping sometime to help me express myself as the gender I currently am.
     
  4. Jellal

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    I was feeling kinda shit about my appearance until I combed my hair a different way. Then I felt a little better, thinking that maybe with time and hormones I might not look all that different from an average girl. Which would be really incredible. It's nice to have more faith in myself.
     
  5. looking for me

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    i hear you on the burn and the ingrown hairs sister. you have come such a long way since we "met" this past year. I am so proud of you(*hug*)
     
  6. juyon

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    i got a new haircut today and when i posted a picture, this happened

    friend : O__________O what happen to you ?

    me : hm.... haircut ? XD

    friend : you look like a boy xD that's all

    me(in private message) : i look like a boy.... that was intended... please don't tell anyone yet

    friend : alright ^^' sorry


    So i got told that i look like a boy, then i told my best friend, who barely reacted (i reconise my best friend here XD )

    earlier in the day, i was with my mother(who i haven't told yet) and was constantly slipping and using male terms when talking about myself, i don't think she noticed, but at least it mean i'm accepting it completely ! :grin:
     
  7. AndySammy

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    That sounds absolutely fantastic! Congrats! :eusa_clap(!)
     
  8. juyon

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    she's the best =D

    at least i'll have someone now to help if t get stuck in the binder the first time XD
     
  9. Matto_Corvo

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    Finally told my friend that I want to be called Alexander.
    She said she liked the name and that it was a strong name of ancient rulers. To which me and her started joking about how we would conquer Rome together.
     
  10. heandsheisme

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    And you shall conquer it, for Rome is eternal.

    Anyway, congrats, other Alexander! (*hug*)
     
  11. juyon

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    I finally decided on my middle name. From now on, i'll be Gabriel Eliot Surname !

    I came out to my other best friend too, like this :

    I won't ease you into it...
    In a few years, i'll look like this : link to a picture of a hot shirtless guy

    she took it well
     
  12. penta

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    Told my dad today i'm going to be a female and that i'm applying for hrt and srs.
    He was a bit shocked though he already thought this was coming one day..
    He told me he can't accept me as a female at this moment but if this makes me happy i have to do it.
    I hope he will be able to accept me in the future...
    i guess it's kinda hard for him to see me as a girl after knowing me as a boy for 36 years...
    But the word is out and i'm happy. going to make plans for going full-time now :slight_smile:
     
  13. PhoenixOfAshes

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    I have a bit of a defeat, and then two nice victories!

    So I'm starting work tomorrow (!) First job! And I went to go shopping for a swim suit because I needed it. So we were driving and my coach said
    "You know where you're going, right?" (Not my town so I'd never been in the store) and I said
    "No..." so she started giving me directions
    "Go in, then turn left and the women's bathing suits are right there." so I said, because I'm not out yet,
    "I uh... I don't normally wear women's swim suits, Miss." so she told me where the men's isle was. I found what I was looking for, and I accepted the reality that I'd have to wear a shirt over it, so I was looking for a shirt to go with the trunks I'd found and she pulled one out from the rack and said
    "This one is nice!" I said
    It's a little see through..." And her reply made me kind of sink into a mini pit of depression and remembrance. She said
    "Well either way you're going to have to swim with a bra on."
    So that was my little defeat.

    But then it got brought up 600% when I tried on the swim suit and the shirt. I took one look in the mirror and burst into tears, I was so happy. It was the first time I'd ever actually had a masculine looking body, and it made me realize how much clothes can do for you.

    My second victory today was another shopping goal! I obviously needed something specific to go swimming in that I could put underneath my shirt so my pap took me to this little outlit, really cute, and I got these sports bras. I was in the changing room, and I put one on and I felt kind of crappy because you know, bra shopping is always fun when you hate having breasts... but then I put the second one over top and I looked so flat, I almost started crying, but it wasn't as great as the first victory so I didn't get emotional over it.

    But yeah... so my day was filled with ups and downs and awesomeness! A small defeat that set me back, but I guess it can't really be helped since I'm not out yet. I guess I was so caught up in being able to openly shop in the "men's" section that when I got reminded of certain things it brought me down... but, but I had two great personal victories! (!):eusa_danc:eusa_danc:eusa_danc
     
  14. Michael

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    Had to buy some clothes and I felt normal at the men's section. I crossed quickly through the women's and experienced disscomfort, it seemed... I don't know... Hostile, foreign, way too different?
    I never felt I did fit in there at all... Now I'm afraid that the women will start to shout names at me and will call security...

    I just couldn't believe I've been hanging around such a place ever. I wonder how did I make it to stand such a thing...

    The clothes I've got were cheaper, comfier and didn't need much time to find exactly what I was looking for. Underwear is still a problem 'cause of insecurities, but it's way better to feel a bit insecure than to feel completly embarrased by wearing the wrong stuff.

    Ok, it's not important, but I'm satisfied, I think it's a huge improvement compared to maybe four months ago. I might do some experimenting with facial hair this weekend, really looking forward to it.
     
  15. randomconnorcon

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    I have victories!

    I went shopping on Saturday. I bought a new shirt and boxers, which I was never able to buy before. My mum doesn't know I have them and my nan didn't especially like that I have them, so I got the typical "you're supposed to be a girl" response. But I don't care, because I have cool 'boy' things. :grin:

    My best friend said I looked good in my shirt (she loves guys in checkered shirts apparently).

    I wore the shirt to a party and confused a bunch of kids because they couldn't decide if I was a boy or a girl. I didn't tell them anything because I didn't want to say girl, but I also didn't want to say boy in case my family found out. But them thinking I was a boy was the coolest part of my Sunday.

    My other best friend bought me a tie with the genderfluid pride flag colors. I sent a picture of it to my old high school friend and told her what the colors mean. The first thing she said was basically "that's awesome, what are your pronouns?" That was a cool coming out experience.
     
  16. ZeroDarkness

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    That's awesome! I actually came out to my mom last night as well, telling her that I'm transgender (mtf) and how I plan on starting therapy and HRT soon. That's funny how we both experienced a very similar situation on the same day ^_^
     
  17. penta

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    sure is... my sister has been talking with my parents to help them understand that this is not something they can ignore..
     
  18. Mischief

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    My dad finally tried out using male pronouns on me. Felt good man. :grin:
     
  19. looking for me

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    i had a victory yesterday(!) i was at my counselors office and we were chatting about the 2 me's, my male and female "spirits" or parts in my head. we discussed the possibility of my being Bigender and in the course i just very calmly said "I am a Transgender Person" and the conversation stopped. (this is the first time i think i've actually said this to a person in real life, i usually say im on the "spectrum".....)i felt this flood of "yeah that's right...." feeling and she just smiled and nodded. it was............utterly fantastic she said i was doing things right, thinking them trough, picking it apart, annalizing it, and putting it back together; sometimes in new ways to account for my new revelations and my new thought processes and prespectives.

    i went home and told my son and his reaction was to give me a big hug.(*hug*)

    ---------- Post added 11th Jun 2015 at 01:41 PM ----------

    just to add to my last;

    also while at the counselor, i told her about the revelation i had one day while leaving Walmart of all places; since i was a kid i've had this "voice" helping me nudge me in good directions and helping me to puzzle things out, etc. and it hit me in the walmart porch, as i was leaving, that "she" has always been with me, helping me, supporting me/us. it was so powerful that i sat in my van for about 10 minutes trying to sort things out and make sense of this revelation. WOW. now im thinking along the lines of us, more than me but in a lot of ways us/we are me and vice versa. it's a bit "weird" this new thought process.
     
  20. Michael

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    Your son is amazing...

    The "voice" you mention... It is indeed a revelation. It comes from within, andit's beyond human understanding, but it's definitely there, I've experienced it too. It's intuitive, kinder and wiser than me, and as I los it a couple of years ago everything went downhill...(what did i expected? Being a private eye, I need that little 'voice' just to survive!)
    It seems it's slowly coming back fortunately.

    Congrats. Your posts always give me a good feeling, they give me back hope that positve stuff can happen and it's out there.