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Small Victories

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Kasey, Dec 11, 2014.

  1. stuckinside

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    MY. MY EFFING. MY HECKING PASTOR CALLED ME "HIM" AND "SIR" TODAY. AND HE KNOWS I'M TRANS.

    Little backstory: my parents and I go to the same church, and there's a lot of old-timers there and it's a Baptist church (I guess? Either way it's *one of those* churches). My mom initially was the one who wanted me to start meeting with him one-on-one bi-weekly, and I've been since late January (she thought he'd be more like her, try to jam it into my head that I'm *not actually trans* and "see the light" or whatever).

    BUT HOLY SHIT.

    Today I was a lot more vulnerable talking to him, and I talked to him about how female pronouns bother me, and about how I'm planning to get top surgery asap cause I'm losing my mind. And somewhere in the shuffle here he lightheartedly called me "sir" which was flippin amazing.

    But the real kicker was at the end when he was praying over me (as he usually does) and he said "her," but then corrected himself to "him" and I was like OH MY GOD.

    Yup. The first time a physically present human who I know personally that knows I'm trans has called me a male pronoun. My heart is soaring! :slight_smile:
     
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  2. Kasey

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    That's a wonderful feeling. Especially finding an unexpected ally.
     
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  3. ErickWolf

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    Ok seriously, I am so proud of myself. Guys. I've somehow managed to pull off getting myself THREE BINDERS!! And today, my dad stayed home from work because he's sick and also tired from traveling, but he apparently got the mail. But luckily he didn't open it and no one has asked about it, and knock on wood, they won't ask even if they noticed me take it upstairs (I also ordered some 'harmless' stuff, just pins for my vest, and if those get here this week, it'll be a well timed cover-up). It's nice because I have one nude, one black, and one grey, and those should get me thru the remaining time until I finally go start college in the fall. I specifically got a black one and a grey one because the bras I have are black and grey, and while I love my mom, she's observant, so she'd notice if I only ever had black bra straps showing day after day. Since it's getting warm outside, soon I can't wear thick hoodies (which hide any binder/'bra' straps) all the time, so I had to make sure I got both colors sooner rather than later. Also because the nude one isn't as easy to hide as I thought it would be, so while no one in college will care, mom might wonder where the nude 'bra' is from. Idk. Better safe than sorry.
     
    #4963 ErickWolf, Mar 13, 2019
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2019
  4. ErickWolf

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    So I know this is a double-post but I think this thread ought to be rebooted.

    Also, I came out to my mom today! It went quite well and she was mostly 1) not surprised and 2) somewhat confused as to why I didn't tell her sooner, lmao. So I had nothing to worry about. Well, better safe than sorry, and basically the *only* people I'm not out to now are my dad and relatives (and the relatives, I don't talk to or anything anyway, so whatever). So this might be more than a small victory tbh, but whatever, I was wondering where the heck this thread went and found it. Also, as for small victories, last week a classmate (new friend actually, in my class this year - sadly we don't sit by each other so we don't get to chat much but she's pretty cool) asked me how long I've been on t! xD I laughed and told her I'm pre-everything and she was surprised and then told me I'm the trans guy everyone wants to be, so that was quite flattering.
     
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  5. Manish1234

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    I have been called as Big brother .Several times
     
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  6. i am just me

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    I haven't been on here in quite a while. Basically things are going great and I have a lot of people to talk to about my feelings and worries concerning gender in real life. My family accepts me now, my mum is making less mistakes with my name, my friends and flatmates are simply the most supporting people one can imagine and even at my job, there wasn't any problem with changing my name. Bureaucracy for name changes and related things is terrible in this country, but I've got the most wonderful people around me to help me through this. I've also started wearing men's boxer briefs and I am amazed by how happy underwear can make you :grin: If you're struggling, know that things do very often get better over time.
     
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  7. Crisalide

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    I came out to a friend. I barely made in time to come out, that he said: "Ok so, can I call you Daniel? I will also have to change your name in the phone contacts..." Without even being asked. :grin:
     
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  8. gaynoodle7

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    Finally bought men's underwear today!!! I'm so excited
     
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  9. Kodo

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    TOP SURGERY IN 3 DAYS!!!
     
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  10. Biblia05

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    This week I was not ashamed to open my door to people from my church while in my workout closes. I have to say I feel super comfortable while in any of those. Over size sweatpants or men basketball shorts, razorback women shirts, men boxers and sports brats. It felt great do not feel like I had to run to cover up or change.
     
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  11. Kodo

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    Huge victory...
    I just got top surgery today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm in recovery now. In some pain, but the surgery went well. I'll get to see my chest in a week or two when the bandages come off
     
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  12. AlmondTree

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    It's done, my parents know I'm trans. It took a load off my mind!
     
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  13. BradThePug

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    In February it was 5 years since I had my gender changed on my ID. In April, it was my 5 year mark since I started T. This month, it was the 5 year mark since I had my name legally changed. It honestly seems crazy that it has been that long.
     
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  14. Kodo

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    I am 3 weeks post top surgery today. The healing process has gone well and I am in virtually no pain now... it’s just still so unreal to see my chest. For everyone still waiting, it is so worth the wait. I’ve never loved my body this much before.
     
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  15. Xirahii

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    I still remember the times I'd visit bank drive-thrus years ago when I was first coming to terms with my trans* identity and I would get called "ma'am" before I spoke. I assume because of the length and style of my hair. It still feels nice to remember, lol.

    I initially came out as bi to my coworkers until recently when a bad pit of dysphoria pushed me to very strongly hint to my coworkers that I was also trans, which (as expected, thankfully) turned out well and made me able to breathe some more. These little things are little victories to me.

    Dysphoria has been as much of an enemy to me as an ally, sometimes. It's weird!
     
    #4975 Xirahii, Jun 12, 2019
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2019
  16. DarkWhite

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    So I had a brigade assigned by school for a week. When I came in they immediately called me by male pronouns. Every person I've met there did. Sadly I had to correct them but damn did it feel good.

    Also, my T shots have started to show their effects. My voice is way deeper then it was before and I even had to shave twice. I guess my face looks more masculine too. So overall I started to be quite fond of how I look, I even decided to take some selfies for the first time in my life just because I can.

    Finally, I'm starting to feel good about myself and thats a huge victory for me.
     
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  17. Katelyn93

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    Yesterday I went to the shops and to go have lunch with my step mom and sister, I was nervous because I got tons of looks and thought people could straight up tell as I'm a tad tall and my shoulders are wide, but when a bloke carrying stock in the pharmacy accidently bumped into me, he apologised politely "sorry miss". Immediately made me feel better. Also my first time out in daylight, middle of the day, to a busy shopping centre.
     
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  18. LaurenSkye

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    Not so much a victory for me, but a step forward. I've finally decided to seriously look for women's clothing. In the past I'd go to the women's clothing department, spend about 1-2 minutes there and then bolt without seriously looking at anything. Lately I've been spending 5-10 minutes at each store, even going so far as to try on clothes. I did buy some without trying them on, took them home and tried them on, the shorts were too big, the shirt was big enough around me, but too short (even though it was a "long-length"). I also bought a dress, and it was an okay size, but I wanted to try one size smaller, so I decided to return it along with the other items I bought that were the wrong size. Many of the dresses I found were sleeveless, which I'm not sure I really like (even in men's clothes), that's one reason I wasn't totally successful. I did find one store that had some dresses that were my size, but I can't decide if I like the style/pattern. I gave myself a deadline of today, and that if I didn't buy anything by then end of today, it was going to wait. But, I will try once again.

    I also considered buying a bra, even going so far as to buy a measuring tape to measure my chest, but I didn't look as hard for bras as I did for other items (mainly dresses). I didn't feel as comfortable looking in the bra section as I did in the general women's clothes section, but then again a month ago I didn't feel very comfortably looking in the general women's section, so maybe in a month or so that will change.
     
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  19. LaurenSkye

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    UPDATE: Despite my self-imposed Wednesday deadline, I went out Thursday and bought a dress. It was one I had seen, I knew was cheap and I was pretty sure they had my size. I am wearing it today for the first time. It's pretty basic, black with white stripes. It's the kind of dress I might look back on in a few years and say to myself "Why did I buy THAT dress?" It's a size XXL and it doesn't even go down to my knees, so I am wearing shorts underneath. I also bought a pair of women's shorts (size 16) that would work great with this dress as they are a little less obvious than the ones I am wearing, but I didn't get a chance to wash them yet.
     
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  20. Crisalide

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    My therapist suddenly said: "You're having a very masculine facial expression right now. You know, focused, serious."
    B)
    It's silly, but I felt as handsome as J. F. Kennedy for a second. xD
     
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