Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Kasey, Dec 11, 2014.
That's huge news! I'm so happy for you man.
Thanks Alec, really appreciate that. I hope yours comes around sooner than you expect!
A long time ago, I bought both a binder and a couple of boxer shorts and my parents didn't say anything negative or gross about it. That, and my mom actually let me wear men's deodorant also without a nasty comment. So that's a plus? Haha and it's always a win wearing those things and being a little bit more comfy in public
Not necessarily trans related, but I'm starting to notice some good definition in my muscles.. especially the abdominal area is where I'm finally getting results, and that makes me happy. It's hard for anyone to get abs, and was and still is quite difficult for me to accomplish. For a while I was getting results in every area except the abs, I thought they'd never improve!
Got my dressings off and saw my chest for the first time today. I felt the most elated I've ever felt, it doesn't feel real to see my chest flat. I don't think I'm ever going to get over the feeling of looking down and seeing this. It's absolutely amazing, my heart jumps every time I think about it.
For everyone waiting for top surgery still. The years of dysphoria, binding, mental and physical pain, anxiety and stress, it'll all be worth it. It'll ALL be worth it when you get to this place and you're seeing a damn flat chest when you look down and recognising it as your own. God guys, I can't wait for every single person that needs this to experience what I am in this moment.
I'm getting a binder in August!
A person asked if I'm man or woman. I thought I didn't hear well, it's such a personal question, so he had to repeat. I answered I'm a woman because I was alone with complete strangers on a train platform at dawn, so...
"It's a weird question"
"No, it's not weird. It's just... you look more like a man than a woman. More like us." and pointed at himself and his friend.
In the while I was wearing one of my tightest t-shirts and no binder.
They were weird people to be careful around - it's interesting how only weird / emarginated / foreign / crazy / drunk people dare to say aloud what many normal people ask silently in their head - but that "like us" was the only little light in a horrible morning.
Every time I doubt about being trans (or sane), I should remember the tiny moments like this, when two common words can make someone weirdly happy, when a simple pronoun can make someone smile like an idiot for five mins.
On impulse I decided to shave my head. I now look very different, and somehow older.
I went clothes shopping with my sister today! There was a good sale at Old Navy that we wanted to check out, and I got a few shirts. It was pretty busy, but I didn't care and just rummaged through the women's section like any other girl, asking my sister her opinion on different tops. After that, we went to Target and I did the same thing. It was definitely the most adventurous I'd been in public, but it felt nice to just not care and enjoy myself. I'm the happiest I've been in a long time.
Yesterday I sent an E-Mail to my job announcing that I'm gonna use my middle name, which has a gender neutral short form, from now on. Today one of my bosses replied and the first line was "Hello Alex". It felt so amazing to be accepted for who I am without any hassle, especially since my boss at my other job wouldn't even take me seriously and kept calling me by my gender specific name today.
It's not necessarily a trans related victory, but I got a helix piercing today! I still have to present as male, but this makes me feel a lot more feminine.
I started HRT today! I was expecting to have to wait another two weeks for some test results but apparently not!? Is today even real??
I'm developing a more positive outlook on my body, now that I've been back into swimming for the past two weeks. It's interesting how even though there haven't been any physical changes, the way I see myself has changed. Instead of focusing on all the bad, I see the good and am exciting for what I'm building. Also I'm working on setting long term goals for my health and fitness. My plan is to get in shape by next summer, so I've got a good chunk of time to develop good habits and stick to them.
so, a couple of victories; we had our Pride week last week, it was awesome, we got soaked in the downpours but we were so proud, and I got my second letter of support for my transfer request, just waiting on my therapist, so I can get out of the rural area I live in and get to the city where I have a community waiting for me. and another, I spent sunday with my friend having a girls day, my first, we went shopping, and had dinner together, talked about our lives and kids, mine is 20 hers is 4. so a couple nice ones.
I'm not out on facebook, but some people are commenting my post with "he/him" randomly, right under my birthname. xD
Working towards officially making my entire wardrobe full of men's clothing and accessories. ^^ Still have a few things to get and some to get rid of.
Me 1 - dysphoria-inducing pants for running 0
Looking in the mirror and seeing a guy.
ok so this is fairly big, I was going to an event in the city and staying overnight. so I took my son and dropped him off to his other moms as he hasn't been in to see her for awhile. when I picked him up on Saturday, I not only had a nice visit with her, she gave me some clothes that is too big for her now and is going to fix my purse that I broke the strap off. this might not seem like much but its frigging hugh to me.
Going to a barber to get my haircut in August!! I'll finally get my haircut perfectly like I enjoy!! : )