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Small Victories

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Kasey, Dec 11, 2014.

  1. looking for me

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    Today marks 6 full months on HRT, wish that i had more development and i was further down the path but still feeling so good, better than i have in years, decades even.
     
  2. BrookeVL

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    Bigger victory!!!! Old Navy has a huge Labor day sale, I managed to snag 4 pairs of skinny jeans for $61 shipped. I went down to a 10, as judging by the last khakis I got, I'm between sizes and ON are cut slightly big anyway, plus these should have a tighter fit being "skinny" rather than "slim"
     
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  3. Rainbow Lantern

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    AAAAHHHHHH!!!! I'M SO EXCITED!!!
    Okay I'll attempt to calm down... But MY SECRET BINDER CAME IN THE MAIL!!!
    I mean... it doesn't make me completely flat so that sucks but still...

    I was actually kind of upset today because I couldn't find my keys and I wanted to check the mail for it (and having depression and anxiety it is very easy for me to get upset with myself) but my mom finally got home from bringing my sister to wherever she's living for University and I borrowed her keys and it came in just on time for school and it was there and AAAHHHHH!! It made me feel so much better :slight_smile:. I thought I was just going to try it on and take it off but I never want to take it off now (I know not to wear it too long though).

    And then my mom walked in the room so I quickly threw my blanket over myself... I really thought the door was locked...

    Now what to do about my feminine face.....
     
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  4. AlexJames

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    Today a coworker of mine called for the supervisor Alex, and when she said that i had to stop myself from responding. I'm not out at work so nobody knows my preferred name. I just liked the moment because it gives me reassurance that if i were to ask people to call me Alex, i might really respond. I've always wondered if it would be that i ask them to use the preferred name only for me to not respond to it so that gives me hope.

    My mom is cutting my hair tomorrow to shoulder length. I will have 2.5 days to get used to it before i have to go to work with the haircut. I'm excited because I've always hated my long hair.

    I tried on my new boys section outfit with my new sports bra that flattens me by like an inch compared to the normal bras i have and the new men's deodorant i bought. Liked it but it wasn't the 'omg yay this is me' moment i was expecting it to be. I still saw too many flaws. Noticed things i want to change.
     
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  5. looking for me

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    note areas for improvement, but also note the little steps that are improvements
     
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  6. Mihael

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    So I can consider the social transition done, right? Gah, I have a feeling like it doesn't give me too much. But at least I feel like I can be myself more.

    Now I'm wondering what I want from my body. I'm confused. As my chest is small and bindable to zero, the question is rather to T or not to T. And that is a big and difficult question.
     
    #4126 Mihael, Sep 5, 2017
    Last edited: Sep 5, 2017
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  7. Crisalide

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    To T or not to T, that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the thigh to suffer
    the slings and arrows of monthly needles...
     
    #4127 Crisalide, Sep 5, 2017
    Last edited: Sep 5, 2017
  8. Mihael

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    The monthly monsters can be made go away with depo shot or something similar... ah... you're talking about monthly T shots... After giving it some thought, I think the most important thing about T is that it would make me appear like a man all the time, and the question is how I feel about that. Taking other things out of the equation for a moment, of course.
     
  9. Crisalide

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    Remember the "desert island" test in order to distinguish social from physical dysphoria. I know that someone can transition physically even if they have only the social one, but my gut (?) tells it's better to distinguish them anyway before choosing what to do.
    ("If you were the last human on earth/the only human in a desert island, what would you change about your body?")
     
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  10. Mihael

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    I believe that I don't have the physical one, apart from feeling odd about my downstairs area, something just doesn't add up in my head on a sensory level. But it's not... something I don't know how to cope with or that distresses me a lot. I would rather have a lower voice too, and a more androgynous face, but I don't like the idea of body hair and balding. You can't pick and choose, right? The main difference would be appearing male or female. And that is a big and difficult question to be honest.
     
  11. Zoe Izumi

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    I guess I would pass that test. My immediate answer was add boobs and switch to having a womb/female genitals.
     
  12. Mihael

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    I wish there was a hormone that would make you look like neither gender. So that you could pass both ways :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: some lucky people are born this way...
     
  13. Crisalide

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    The author of the blog "Neutrois Nonsense" went (goes?) on and off hormones.
     
  14. Mihael

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    Really?

    I think it's difficult to strike the balance. And even more difficult to be attractive both ways, isn't it?

    The most difficult thing for me... I know I would maybe want a more masculine face and voice, but I'm aware that both things in the feminine version make me attractive. And I'm not sure how I feel about being read as male all the time. If this is for me.
     
    #4134 Mihael, Sep 5, 2017
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  15. Mihael

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    #ShowerThoughts
    1. I'm not sure of what I wrote, I find myself to be good looking and I feel like messing with it can only make it worse
    2. Again, it's really hard for me to think about my body this way
    3. Lol, I think I'm not comfortable being read as either completely. I tried out being a dudes' dude recently, and it's not me either. I'm not a girls' girl, but I'm not an extreme the other way round too. I just don't feel any fits me.
    4. My face will be more angular with age anyway, and voice will be deeper too. I might be complaining too, and I might in fact have a quite androgynous face and voice.

    So yeah, I'll stay a lesbian who trains karate, wears baggy clothes and has a guy nickname xD I still feel like a guy, or guyish, but I guess this makes me the most comfortable.
     
  16. BrookeVL

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    Such a big day!!!!!!

    I told my general manager, and she's nice and supportive. Also(and I know this wasn't cool, but her intentions were good) I'm not the only one, we have another "still in the closet/boy mode" trans girl. She tripped my radar so I'm wondering if I did the same....

    And.....I PASSED FROM BEHIND TODAY!!!!
     
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  17. Chef

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    off to the doctors tomorrow. talk more about estrogen and go from there
     
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  18. BrookeVL

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    Well that straight thing didn't last that long....(there's a girl at work I'd literally marry right this second) but hey bi girls are more fun anyway(that's the victory)!
     
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  19. anthracite

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    I can feel my muscle grow and get harder. Getting some hair and downstairs is doing it's thing. This is so great!
     
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  20. EverDeer

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    Ordered my first packer (masho) a few days ago. I already got two pairs of underwear that have an o-ring for packing (or strap-ons) in the mail and I'm just so excited, I was almost disappointed that it didn't arrive that day so I could wear it in them hahah... I've never really had a lot of bottom dysphoria, I don't hate my own genitalia at all, but for some reason I just feel like this will be really self-affirming in my gender... sort of mentally gives me a reason to be confident and for people to take who I am seriously I think..