Small Victories

Today I got in contact with another FtM. I also finally sent the message to my new to be psychiatrist. Time to get outta that stupid closet a little more.

 

I wore a dress and saw myself in the mirror. I looked pretty good. I feel kind of confident that with some work and estrogen, I can look feminine.

 

I probably should call my doctor and ask what mine are....they said everything looked and if I had any questions, but I didn't ask for actual numbers...now I'm curious.

Also I'm seeing more patchiness in my beard...still not gone though.

 

The other day I finally found the almost perfect denim skirt(one size larger than I wanted) in the clarence section at Target. I also used the ladies restroom and nobody even batted an eye, the only thing different that day from how I normally go out was that I wore my bra and breastforms, so I feel confident that I will look 100% female, or like a slightly andro female, once my natural breasts come in more.

 

Mother: "You've become so thin... I think your breasts are gone from B to A cup. Only your bones stick out, and with those shrugged shoulders... you know, you look like a 13 years boy. You... you really do. Don't you realise that people seriously think you're thirteen?"
Me: *tries not to laugh*
Mother: "What?"
Me: "Nothing."

[No, I'm not anorexic. I eat a lot. I just move around a lot.]

 

I went out to eat with my family and the waitress sir'd me and used male pronouns for me :icon_bigg

 

Self-injected T for the first time today. Took a really long time to psych myself up to do it though, it's a lot more intimidating than I thought it would be.

 

ok, two things. I Have Boobs!!!!!:eek!) they're only verging on A's but yes Sarah has boobs.

and two i found out while at a pre admission clinic that my local hospital performs bi-laterial orki. (testical removal) the nurse told me that they have done 2 for other girls (her words) since christmas. wow. i was thinking that i'd have to go to Halifax at the closest.

 

After years of cross dressing I've recently been thinking of wanting a more permanent feminine appearance. Anyway to start with I went to the hairdressers last week and asked for an androgynous hair style like a pixie cut. Felt nervous about asking for it but my hairdresser is a drag artist so I trusted him. While there I also had my eyebrows waxed for the first time in my life. Also pleased to say the girl who did them said my eyebrows didn't need much done as they were nicely shaped already.

 

I've been walking around with shaved legs and wearing shorts(still in boy mode for now) and no one has said anything or even seems to care.

 

So I had this nationAL competition this week, and I've been away from anybody that I know... so I decided to present fem. Today for my presentation I wore this dress (pic in album once moderated) and it was my first time wearing a dress out in public! No one said anything rude even though I don't think I was passing, and I got quite a few compliments on it too! I wasn't even nervous surprisingly. If only I could figure out how to tuck in dresses now...

 

You pierced your boobs?

 

I contacted a gender therapist up near the university I'll be attending in two months.

 

My hairline is starting to round out!

 

I now have a therapist for non-gender issues. Just need to figure out how to bring up gender identity without being awkward.

 

Had my second appointment with my voice coach. I seem to be good at it and she has high hopes for me, as exercises she's planned for one hour only take 35 minutes as I grasp them almost immediately.