Ok, soooooooo... I am a weird cross between skoliosexual and lesbian. I am looking for a sexuality to describe someone who is attracted to only certain genders. I have heard that this would be demisexual, but I don't want to make any mistakes when I come out. I really don't want to, after coming out, learn that being demisexual is something completely different from what I thought. Should I identify as multisexual or polysexual instead? Please clarify!!!
I know what pansexual is, but I am not attracted to all genders, only some. Skoliosexual means being attracted to people who are non-binary, genderfluid, or non-cisgender individuals (so basically, anyone who identifies as neither a girl or a boy, or both a girl and a boy).
I have seen bisexual defined in a few ways that are more inclusive of non-binary genders that may resonate with you: - Having the potential to be attracted to more than one gender - Being attracted to your gender and other genders There are also a few YouTubers that make videos on bisexuality that you might be interested in. Now I know that most people see being bi as liking men and women, so it may not be as specific of a label as you want. In the end I think you have to go with what feels right to you. Language can change over time and so can your understanding of yourself. I know there's a lot of pressure to choose, but you can always change labels in the future if circumstances change or not choose a label at all. As for demisexual, I believe it is defined as only having sexual attraction after a close relationship/friendship is formed. Is is more within the asexuality spectrum than which genders you are attracted to.
We need to be very careful about using words like skoliosexual, or many of the other niche terms/labels that are doing the rounds in the online world, but have little traction or understanding in the real world. We may think that these terms/labels are helpful, but they are really only helpful to the small minority who created them. To people who are confused or might be questioning their sexual orientation (that would be many EC members and visitors) these words are particularly unhelpful and can even be very harmful. We really don't need to create or peddle a new term or label in order to describe, or define every nuance of our feelings of attraction.
Thank you so much for your responses! I think that I am going to go with multisexual, as that is what I think describes how I feel the most and is what I want to identify as. You all really helped me out! Thanks!
But I am confused as to what the difference between "multisexual" and pansexual is ? It sounds like just another way to say "I am attracted to more than one gender/sex" and I kind of agree with Patrick on that one that by creating and coming up with a bunch of new labels that nobody uses or understand apart from the few who created them is kind of damaging the credibility of the LGBTQ+ community. I think what you want when you come out is for people to know you are not straight, I can understand why a lesbian wouldn't want to use the bi label for herself or a bisexual the lesbian or pan label, BUT if what you are trying to convey to people is that you could end up with someone who isn't a man or would only end up with people who aren't from the opposite sex or just could end up with any gender or most genders then there are already a bunch of labels for that that are more mainstream and would get your point across better than using a niche term that even most of the LGBTQ people don't know. What I am trying to say is that: keep it simple. People don't need extreme details about who exactly you plan on dating, it's mostly about letting people know you are not straight. Most people don't need to know that "you mostly like people who aren't cis though not all and could potentially date someone who is cis if it's a woman who is more on the andro side" for example, that is just too complicated. People will only remember that you are not straight and might end up with someone of the same-sex (whether non-binary or not). I don't know, I just think your labels would completely confuse me personally as they are just too complicated and I don't think they make much sense or add much more to the definition of similiar/ more mainstream labels.