So I wasn't sure if I could post this, or of people would find it offensive. And I'm not joking at all. But after two years of being "out" I'm just sick of being gay. It's so hard. Ever since I've been out my life has got worse. I thought I had accepted being gay but now society makes me want to go back to lieing to myself. I know I can't be straight. I wouldn't try. But I want this attraction to men to go away. Sometimes I feel so bad I just want cut my "you know what" off, cause I feel so repulsed by my attraction. I've fought for LGBT rights, been good, kept my "morals" (with a few slip ups) And It's just got me no where but mentally and physically tired. I don't know what to do. Someone help me.
I'm so sorry. I don't know that I can say anything that can help; but for the record nothing you say here is offensive. This is a %100 legitimate struggle, and it makes me sick and angry at society, not at you. Ugh. I don't know what to say, but (as someone who basically never swears) fuck heteronormatively and homophobia and all that bullshit.
Just be yourself. Be proud to be you!!! Fuck heteronormativity. Fuck being straight. Be proud to be unique and be part of an amazing community. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being gay at all. Don't be ashamed. Society can fuck itself. Defy the norms and the sterotypes. I'm a man and I like men but who gives a shit. Anyone who has a problem with this isn't worth my time and can honestly go to hell. Your post is not offensive one bit. BTW do you have any LGBT+ friends? If not you should try making some and maybe lot for an LGBT group. Meeting people of other sexualities may make you feel more comfortable with yourself. Honestly don't listen bigots. Be yourself and be proud to be you.
Hey, I actually relate in some way to what you're saying there. Yesterday I came out to one of my friends (whom I don't know for a long time, though) saying that I like girls, but instead of understanding and support I received "you're just playing around here" and "you can't say that if you didn't like some specific girl before (although I did)". I can barely recall other instances in my life when I felt so dirty and invalidated, which just makes me wish I weren't this way. I started to feel extremely ashamed of myself, and ot sent me into this overthinking mode of figuring out whether I really don't fancy having a relationship with an opposite sex. And the thought of being in a straight relationship feels so unnatural to me, so sad. It's as if I know it's not something I'm supposed to be. One thing I know for sure is that we have to be strong. Novody can be loved by everybody, that's impossible anyway.
Being gay/bi/lesbian is hard. Those who are hetero have no clue just how hard it is. In a society that is still stuck in the dark ages, it can be dangerous at times. Sometimes we feel like witches in puritan America. We have to meet in secret and keep our identities secret. But you know what? FUCK 'EM. Be who you are. Never be what people want you to be. Too many people have gone that route, and most went to the extreme to end their struggle. I would suggest taking a day to be alone, and clear your mind. Just let your feelings flow organically. This could help you accept who you are, and in the end love yourself for who you are. Never be afraid to talk to like minded people. If you want, you can pm me and I'll give you my email. I know I come across as mean and aggressive for the most part, but I'm an ear if anyone needs it.
I don't know how old you are but you sound like you are self aware the attraction desire and need never goes away and the great and vast majority of humanity has no clue how to deal with you. Because there are so few of us compared to the general population, relationships are hard to find and form and unless we have settled in an area where an abundance of homosexual souls reside we always end up feeling like the fifth wheel or the person standing on the outside looking in. You may need to find the medium where you project as straight to the straighties and be your true self around other gays and most importantly, yourself. The BEST part of finding and remaining in a committed relationship is that you don't need to hide yourself from anyone any longer unless you absolutely want to and I think in the end that is the reality we all strive for. Acceptance. Don't give up on you.
