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Siblings?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by steveo, Jul 24, 2008.

  1. steveo

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    I just wanted to know if coming out had any negative impact on your siblings. One of my worries of fully coming out is that people will start talking about my sister behind her back and start bullying her because of me and I would never wish anything like that upon my sister. Has anyone dealt with this before or have any suggestions?
     
  2. Asher4heart

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    Ok i am an only child so i can't help much...I think it depends a lot on your town. If you feel comfortable coming out then your sibblings should be ok. But anyone plz feel free to correct me.
     
  3. Antrioss

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    Come to think of it, I haven't told my brother yet. I don't know why. I know FOR A FACT that he wouldn't think less of me. I'm more of a person that if you ask, I'd answer honestly. I got anxious from striking up the convos with my friends. It's so hard, but it'll get better the more people you tell.
     
  4. blpate

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    For me I didn't come out in hs but it was because i was in a small town and i was probably still a little confused about who i was. That said I have a twin and I too worry about how being completely out would affect the way people look at him. But hey its only natural. Your family is a part of your identity and its only natural that you associate who you are with who they are, and others will probably do the same.

    I don't know what your situation is and all but for me I think it comes a point when you have to stop worrying about everyone else and think about yourself. I know that a big reason I am still in the closet is b/c I don't want to hurt my friends and family. I have wasted a good bit of my life worrying about others and how they feel, making my feeling subordinate to theirs. Don't discount how you feel inside, it may be time to put yourself first, reflect on yourself and what you want.

    Hope I didn't ramble too bad and hope this helped.
     
  5. steveo

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    Well shes my little sister and shes going to be a freshman this year. But my school has a main building and a freshman building so she won't be in the same building as me until next year. My school is pretty big and I live in a pretty big town and most people are accepting but I have seen people who absolutely hate gay people too. I am ok with who I am but idk if my sister will be. She kinda flips out of anything goes wrong and stresses out real easily. I just don't want her to resent me because of how I am.

    P.S. your replies are really appreciated!
     
  6. Hydrogen

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    I wouldn't worry as much about a little sister as I would a little brother.
    I lived in a small town, and even there the girls just wanted to have that stereotypical gay best friend. I know when Tyler (my BF) came out, his sister (my best friend) only got comments like "Is your brother really gay?". "Have you met his boyfriend?", "Does he have any tips on how to get a guy", "How does he know he is gay", "That's hot", etc.

    Now, a little brother would probably be picked on by the less mature kids (jocks in particular), etc because they have noting better to do. (or at least that is how it was at my HS)
     
  7. TheSuburbian

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    In my experience... I told my brother... then his friends, and nothing really bad came out of it. I didn't get to feign joking as often, if you know what I mean. But other than that, nobody was worse to anyone because of me being gay.
     
  8. Leigh

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    this was an issue for my friend... she was completely out but when kids at here little sisters school found out she had a girlfriend they started being a bit mean...
    tbh i dont actually know what happened but im sure it did get sorted out.. if you want ill ask her and pm you :slight_smile:
     
  9. Chris

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    i think that it tends to be the little ones that do that and it seems in HS they mature alot more! Hope this helps!!! Good luck!:slight_smile:
     
  10. Louise

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    If you are thinking of coming out to more people it might be kindest to tell her first so that she doesn't have to find out second hand.

    Once she has taken on board your homosexuality and accepted it (give her a few weeks) then talk to her about it and see if she is ready to take on bullies (if it comes to that) and set up a strategy where by she will know what to say if people are mean to her, and that she comes and tells you and you stand up for her and sort things out so that she doesn't have to feel that she is all alone dealing with this.
     
  11. Maddy

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    My sister is my biggest supporter and the first person I ever came out to. I think she'd figured it out before I told her, or before I'd even figured it out myself. She has just as many gay friends as straight friends, and as far as I know, nobody's ever said anything to her about my sexuality.
     
  12. interstella

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    My sisters are 6 and 10 so I won't be telling them for a while.
     
  13. silentsound

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    I think you have to be out to her first. If you are close then she deserves to know a little before you become totally open. See if she is supportive. If she is go for it. I think she will do better if you and her are close, but regardless it is your life. Although as a little sister myself I think it is really sweet and a little bit cute that you are thinking of her feelings.
     
  14. Perrygay

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    I told my brother face to face, I don't know about anyone else. With friends and other people, like co-workers, it's ok to just let it spread around, but I wanted my parents and brother to know because I told them.

    And heck no, no one treated him any differently because I came out.
     
  15. Nicvcer

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    When I came out, my brother told me he had thoughts about it himself, but when he tried it he realized he wasn't into it, and that he liked females a lot more. It didn't affect our relationship negatively at all.
     
  16. Gumtree

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    Of my other 3 brothers, one is gay and another is Bi; everyone always said that i remind them so much of my oldest brother (the gay one) and so when i came out a lot of people really weren't suprised.

    I guess it can work both ways, but as said before; Your family is part of your identity unless you push them away. I think a lot of it would also have to go with how your family take it. If people see that your siblings are homophobic then i doubt anyone is about to go up to them and give them shit about you.
     
  17. Wander

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    Have you thought about coming out to her first, to see what she thinks of it? Or if you're already out to her, talk about it with her. Get her opinion on things, she is the one you're worrying about.
     
  18. wherewulfe

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    mine did but that's another story
     
  19. ashleysmall

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    have five brothers. one of them is gay. had a few people make some comments but never really bothered me. its times like that when u realize what people are really like and u learn who your real friends are.

    but its very sweet of you to be concerned about your sister
     
  20. matt3208pc

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    I've got two older sisters so i cant really be of much help, i guess that it might be easier if your siblings are past the high school age, so theres not much chance for bullying. As long as you're ok with who you are, then you should be able to tell your sister. She's your sister and i'm sure she loves you, just do it when you feel comfortable and see how she reacts.