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Shy or not interested?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Silver Snow, Apr 13, 2018.

  1. Silver Snow

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    I like this girl, and I’m trying to get to know her. But it’s hard. We don’t live in the same area. We just go to cosmetology school in the same place. It doesn’t leave many openings to talk, but I always go out of my way to talk to her. I think I’ve made my interest pretty clear, without going overboard. But I can’t tell with her....

    She smiles when she sees me, and her eyes light up. Am I just seeing things? Is she like that with everyone?

    I asked for her number, and she gave it to me. But does that really mean anything?

    I suggested we hang out, maybe go to the fair in a couple weeks. She said yeah, as long as she’s free that day. But was she just being friendly?

    She got her hair dyed and wanted me to touch it and look through it. But we are in cosmetology school, everyone does that.

    That she was gay was one of the first thing she told me about herself. There are all theses positive signs she likes me, but...

    She never really approaches me. I have to approach her.

    She doesn’t talk to me much when we are together in groups. She quietly smokes with everyone out back and just gets up and leaves.

    I feel like if I didn’t say anything, just one day walked into school and not initiate any interaction, she’d never talk to me. I don’t know for certain because I can’t seem to handle not talking to her at least to say hello, but that’s the feeling I get....

    Any thoughts?
     
  2. Destin

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    It sounds like she likes you but is either shy or just likes being pursued so makes you start everything first. It probably wouldn't be a very good relationship if she ignores you and makes you do everything though.
     
  3. Richard321

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    Hard to say because she does seem shy. What about coffee after class? Some time together at the fair, away from the class would help.
     
  4. Silver Snow

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    That’s what I think, but I’m not sure if I’m moving too fast. I feel like getting to know her at school first before trying to invite her to go places with me is ideal. But she seems to shy away from group situations and I don’t want to seem creepy or weird or desperate if I follow her when she walks away. The only time she isn’t out back smoking with the others is when she’s in level one working on her manikin. (She’s a new student, I’m a senior.) I don’t want to approach her while she’s trying to learn. (It really isn’t allowed anyway.)

    Would it be moving to fast to ask her to go places with me?

    And how long should you wait before asking a girl on a real date and not just to hang out?

    I feel like I should add that I’ve never dated before. I’ve turned down all the guys who ever asked me out. (Mainly because I stupidly didn’t recognize that they were flirting with me. I’m usually intelligent and intuitive but I have social anxiety and get confused.) And I’ve never met a girl I’ve felt this way about who wasn’t straight.
     
  5. Blue Nails

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    Heey :slight_smile:
    Do you have her on any social media (like fb or instagram?) or have her number? You could maybe get closer and get to know her better by texting her small funny things every now and then until she feels more comfortable. I've never really been in a relationship but this was the case for me and a lot of my shy friends! Texting allows you to talk without a lot of confrontation so it might be more appealing for her.

    Also I love that twenty one pilots lyric at the bottom- you got some good taste!!
     
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  6. Silver Snow

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    Thanks! TØP is my favorite group I think.

    But, yeah, that might be a good idea to just text her. I can hardly talk to her. I’m afraid I’m scaring her away because she hasn’t sat with me at lunch for awhile. She’s always hanging out with this guy P. P is pretty cool though, if I was in level one I’d hang out with him too. *sigh* I’m not as intimidating as I look. I have a RBF, sometimes, but I always smile at her. And I try to sit next to her when the opportunity presents itself, but maybe she just wants to get away from me and I don’t realize it...

    This is depressing. I’m never going to meet a girl who likes me. I feel like giving up. :frowning2:

    Should I just quit?
     
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  7. Silver Snow

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    And she’s got long hair and looks so dainty and small and pretty. I’ve got a pixie cut and while I’m told I’m “pretty” and I’m told I don’t look butch, I feel like I’m not pretty enough for her. She’s way out of my league....
     
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  8. Blue Nails

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    They are my favourite band as well! I'm waiting for new songs to come out- I can't wait :slight_smile:

    You said that she let you know that she's gay- does she know about you as well? Don't give up though- for real. It's way too early to give up- you don't even know whether she likes you yet! Do you have any other common interests that you could talk about (favourite bands, tv-shows, anime, music) to her? Be patient and consistent and she's bound to notice you!

    As for the second bit- I obviously do not know how you look but pixie cuts are so cute!! I really want to get one. I am certain that both you and her are extremely beautiful. It's really hard to compare yourself with someone you like since it's difficult to have a clear perception of yourself and also the fact that you are likely to exagerrate the looks of the person you like :wink:

    I honestly hope that this works out well for you though- if not her then maybe the next girl, I'm sure that you will definitely meet the right girl!