Hi everyone, I haven't posted in a few months, I took some time out to sort my head out. I am 30, 2 children 5 and 10. I realised I was at least bi around 5 years ago but I am still firmly in the closet. I have been with my husband since I was 18, we have had a rough road to where we are now, sexuality aside. My husband is an ultimate passive aggressor, he has gradually been acting more and more irrational over the past year. He would come home from work in the middle of the day while I was working from home (to check if I'm having an affair), ask me if I was really at work and other such craziness. We had a disagreement yesterday about nothing really, but it went on all day, I laid my cards out on the table and told him I knew what was going on in his head, he could not hide it from me. He then spent the entire night answering my questions and I am now shocked to my core, the manipulative things he has done to scorn me for things he offered to do or purposefully trying to hold me back in my career, trying to get me to stop going to the gym, in case I left him. My mind is officially blown! He said he will try to work on his behaviour but without therapy, that he refuses to get, I do not see how he will get better. I feel as though I owed it to him to come out and say that I am gay and that maybe we should end it, but I was worried it would tip him over the edge. Although, for 12 years he's apparently been messing with my head and here I am worrying about him. Does he deserve to know that he can try all he likes to change but even if he does, it won't fix the fact I am gay? Or should I let him regain some emotional stability before dropping this on him?