I want to be a drag king, and I think I'm making some decent progress with it. Up until now I've been secretly buying cheap makeup supplies when I have spare cash. Because foundation is usually more expensive than the other stuff I get, I use my mum's stuff, but it's basically run out now. I could use my own money to get foundation and anything else that looks good, but the trouble is that my mum has collected all the money I have to put into a savings account she recently set up for me because she's worried I'll just spend it all on the wrong things (which is a fair concern tbh) and wants me to have proper savings because...adulting I guess. I asked her today if I could have some money to buy some things I wanted, she asked what I was thinking of, and because I am terrible at lying I said I wanted makeup but I didn't say why. She said she'd prefer shopping for that sort of stuff with me because it can be expensive and it's easy to get things wrong when buying supplies when you're not experienced. I don't think she'd believe that I want to wear it casually or for beauty because I have a very masculine/androgynous dress sense and have been clear about my position on makeup before. Should I tell her the reason why I want to get certain types of makeup? She's not a fan of drag queens and barely even believes that drag kings exist, and she'll definitely find it strange and maybe even try to talk me out of it. I also just want to do this for me and not get my parents involved - they have never liked me keeping secrets from them and I'd feel so stifled if I couldn't have this to myself. So should I tell my mum and/or let her help me buy makeup? Or just wait it out and hope I can afford something for myself soon? Any advice?
I think you really need to pause and consider how it will go down if you tell your mum the truth at this point. If your mum has control of your money, it suggests you are not yet at the stage where you have enough independence to make decisions without her approval or consent. Telling her about your wish to do drag could put you in a very awkward or vulnerable position and it's really important that you avoid that. I know it's not easy keeping secrets and living a lie, but nothing is more important than your safety and security. At this stage it might be better to focus on researching the drag scene and looking at options for getting involved in the future when you are better placed to decide for yourself. Based on what you have told us, I can't see your mum embracing the idea right now.
Hi there! Given what you have mentioned, I would agree with Patrick that it would be good to hold off saying anything to your mom. Taking a look at your location, and while things have started to change and perhaps people and residents in Hong Kong have become more open to LGBTQ, and the drag scene, it seems that your mom or parents are not there yet, feeling comfortable with it. Once you are on your own, have your own financial independence, it would be easier to buy the makeup you need, and also feel like you are part of the scene. As Patrick mentioned, your safety, security is paramount In addition, as you are still living with your parents, and rely on them for your needs, you want to make sure that you don't upset that balance at the moment. It is definitely hard, and I can imagine you are feeling a little down now being able to share this part of your life with your parents, but eventually you will be able to.
