i mean I think I could live. I wouldn't avoid coming out because if I am a girl I'm gaaay. I'm a generaly happy kid who's excited about everything and always is interested in 50 things at once that they can't possibly do at once, and yet do somehow. It would be endlessly easier to just be a gay female. I pray everyday that I am. I prey that the dysphoria will go away. I know on some level it won't but if I can keep it at bay I can be a girl. You know the stages of grief? Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. In a way I am grieving over past me, over Julia. I'm obviously in the 3ed stage and I'm terrified. I've been through a suicidal depression before and I don't wanna go through it again. And I have no one to talk to outside of this website. Someone hold me.
I guess it depends on what would make you happiest, because thats whats really important here. Don't be someone you're not just for the benefit or convenience of others. ...But it is true, sometimes it feels like it would be easier to just give in to social norms, but then I wouldn't be myself. I would be like a boring shell of myself. Thats my opinion anyways. ^^
I struggle with this part myself. I good chunk of time I tried to convince myself that I was non-binary so that I didn't have to change pronouns or name or whatever. People that could accept it would, and people that wouldn't didn't need to know. But that wasn't who I am. Since admitting to myself that I'm a woman, I have been much happier, because I'm not denying who I am. I can't understand what it must feel like while still a minor, but at least be true to yourself. If you are the only person that knows, then that's enough for now.
