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Should I or should I not tell him I like him?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Lee1997, Jul 5, 2018.

  1. Lee1997

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Sexual Orientation:
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    Not out at all
    So, I've always said that I'm straight and believed it wholeheartedly. I've never had any romantic feelings for other guys. But just recently, I've realized that I've developed some kind of feelings for one of my coworkers (let's call him Preston). When I first met him, I didn't really know that he was gay until a month or two later, but I had no problem with it. He was an energetic and funny person to me and I always enjoyed working with him instead of most of our other co-workers. But then, I started noticing some things...Preston always steals glances at me whenever I'm not looking even when we're with our other co-workers to which they would notice him doing it. Then, he would bend down in front of me a few times and even twerk. I just assumed this was his personality...until he actually brushed his hand against my butt a few times as well. The first time, I thought it was an accident, but it kept happening too many times for it to just be an accident.

    Now, this will sound weird but I actually kind of enjoyed the attention from Preston. I didn't really think about if I really liked him or not because I wasn't too sure. So one day I decided to test the waters and see if I actually did like him. I went up to the job to pick up my check and decided to stay up there for a few hours to hang with him despite our other co-workers irritation. Everything went well and he seemed to enjoy it. But when I helped him take the trash out, I admitted to him that I only stayed to spend time with him. He said "aww, that's so sweet" and he hugged me tight and I went to my car. When I returned to use the restroom and right when I was about to walk out, the co-worker he was worked with said something smart and we ended up arguing a little before I eventually just left. That night I texted Preston and told him how I'm sorry for doing that but I was just irritated. But he never responded.

    Preston eventually left to go to college and I texted him two or three times but that's it. No response and no further texting. Now he's back this summer and somehow he found out that I informed my friend that he touched my butt a few times and he didn't want to work with me yet. Along with that, he over-exaggerated me texting him by telling our co-workers I texted him 2-3 times a day for two months when he left [​IMG] After a week or two, we ended up working together again for a few hours and everything seemed like before. Him staring, bending over in front of me, twerking and having long conversations with me even though his shift ended an hour ago.

    But this whole situation is confusing now because I've realized that I really do like him and I wasn't just wanting attention. The problem is I don't know if I should or shouldn't tell him.
     
  2. wardrobeescaper

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    Of you're sure that he is what you want then go for it and he might reciprocate. But don't get into a relationship with him and then realise you don't like guys and end up hurting him. I'm not sure he's totally focused on you given the fact that he went quiet but once he has confirmed that you like him he may start to be more communicative and you may even end up dating. I hope it all works out for you
     
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  3. smurf

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    I would say don't

    From what you are saying he isn't interested in you in any serious way, sadly. If he was he would have texted you back at some point.

    As hard as it is to do, take in the experience knowing that this one guy seemed like a possibility, be open for it to happen again, and then work on moving on from him.
     
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  4. DRobs

    Regular Member

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    Depends - this will probably result in heartbreak for you as this guy seems flakey. I wouldn't expect a serious long term relationship out of him given what you've written.

    However, a summer fling might be fun, if you can do that without getting your heart broken. You being not fully out to yourself, this might be a good guy to experiment with as you will probably not see him again for another year.
     
  5. Calf

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    To answer the question simply, yes (in my opinion). Telling him that you like him doesn't mean you have to be in a relationship but it would be good to clear your mind. There's no guarantee of how he will respond but it could save dragging this out in a painful way.
    The only exception though is if you think he would tell other people and break your confidence, especially if you don't feel ready for others to know about your questioning sexuality.
    From what you've said of him, he isn't the sort of guy I would date but then neither were most of the guys I "dated" . Maybe he's perfect for you, maybe he's a waster but there's only one way to find out.